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CPN

CPN (aka Cost Per Nut) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?” In its simplest form: CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs) MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc. Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it. Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers. CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month. In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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love it

celine d.Feb 14
Review by poop f.

THINGS ARE GETTING A LITTLE WILD AT CAILLOU'S HOUSE!

poop f.Feb 14

The thing is amazing. Also everything on the back is true!

NikolaiFeb 13

Professor - I am loving this ....not all professors are blasted toward intellectualism. I believe smart comes in all different sizes, color, beauty, and personality. I will use this coffee cup proudly. Loving it in Denver. Jax

jaxFeb 13

It was great! Very hard to break and easy to hold! Also very cute

Sanjay P.Feb 12
Review by Manley P.

I sent my friend the Wordle URL for her to enjoy. She did her first Wordle and got so excited, she sent me a text including the answer she got. This showed at the top of my screen and I read it - there was no way to un-read it so I was ... wordlefucked for the day!

Manley P.Feb 12
✓ Verified Purchase

Solid mug. Funny design. Fair price

Steve C.Feb 12
✓ Verified Purchase

My dad hits me with his mug. It's very very durable

Ball L.Feb 11

I got the Capybara one made by FAUBCOK and it was so good quality!

Keera U.Feb 11

i loved the mug, gave it to my grandmother on her birthday

Bart D.Feb 8

The mug is great! I bought it as a gag gift for a friend, and I didn't really think it was going to be a good mug, but when I got it I was super surprised! It is really high quality feeling ceramic and the print is very clear and good looking. It was also packaged really well, and the shipping process was nice too! It did take longer than I thought to get here, but it's understandable as I did order it custom. In all it is an amazing mug and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for myself.

Kara G.Feb 8
✓ Verified Purchase

This mug is great! It comes in perfect condition and I love that you can change the definitions! I put my name and then I put the definition as ‘the best person’. Made my day every time I picked it up.

Alice J.Feb 8

My name is Asher, I looked my name up a few days ago and we all had a good laugh. Now, this mug is my go to morning mug for drinking my herbal tea and plotting to take over the realms.

Asher T.Feb 8

I just love it. Just like I ordered!

susan s.Feb 7
✓ Verified Purchase

Exactly as promised.

Lou F.Feb 7
✓ Verified Purchase

To beginulate, the muglification of the vessel is both pleasing to the eye as well as the hand. Secondly, the option of choosing one's own colors adds to the lessening if the so called " buyer's remorse" which so often accompanies modern "on line" purchases.

John B.Feb 7
Review by Jade P.

My husband absolutely loves this! This was a difficult product to find but it turned out perfectly! He was cracking up. Definitely worth the buy.

Jade P.Feb 7
✓ Verified Purchase

I bought this mug for my daughter for Valentine’s Day. She saw the different descriptions of her name on your site, and read every one of them!! She then found a mug with everything written about her name on it. So, I am surprising her with it. The mug looks great. Quick delivery!

Toni B.Feb 5
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by Gloria Rose F.

I live in a Hillbilly Condo & love my flamingo pink mug.

Gloria Rose F.Feb 5
✓ Verified Purchase

Annie from the customer service team helped me out tremendously with some adjustments that I wanted done after my order was placed. I really appreciate her willingness to go above and beyond for my request. The product was received exactly how I wanted it! One happy customer over here. Thanks!

Jay B.Feb 4
✓ Verified Purchase
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