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CPN Tee

CPN (aka Cost Per Nut) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?” In its simplest form: CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs) MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc. Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it. Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers. CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month. In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B.Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s.Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

GayagayMar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W.Mar 26

Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!

WilliamMar 19

Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡

💆🏻‍♀️琴Mar 8

The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂

Rhiannon K.Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.

Eric T.Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition

The person nobody knowsMar 5

BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!

student of PPMar 5

Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day

JaysonMar 4

good is it very. i like shirt much,,,,, it contabfortable like it i do.

hhfeqa v.Mar 4

The Fucklix t shirt is perfect but I am still waiting for the xlarge I ordered. These are gifts and will be just what is needed. Hope I receive the xlarge soon then it's time to give them to the people I ordered them for. So glad I saw them . Thanks.

Kathleen J.Feb 27
✓ Verified Purchase

My wife loves it. Nice quality and so funny for the wearer. Thank you!

Todd D.Feb 21
✓ Verified Purchase

The shirt fit amazing, package was shipped rather fast! Thank you so much..

Crystal D.Feb 19
✓ Verified Purchase

It is absolutely perfect and I love wearing it. Thank You.

Kathleen J.Feb 14
✓ Verified Purchase

Love the short mine says bih on it

Neal N.Feb 11

this shit stays on during sex

asas a.Feb 8

Love it! Buyed it for my sister but I had to make it say her favorite anime 💀✨

Milan G.Jan 20

LOVR THIS SHIRT OML SO CUTEEEEE😍😍😍

Angelina C.Jan 16
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