The Suttonator Mug
A machine, patented by The English Department Ltd, and designed purely to be possibly the most anti-social and hated contraption ever created. It contains 8 million anal transistors and just under 6 million bitch capacitors. The quirky designers implemented a function in the machine to make it teach English, and with that constantly brag about the degree it got at Oxford University; however they did not program it to mention that it was Oxford Brookes. The Suttonator has many pre-programmed voice commands and jingles; predominantly 'stop masticating', 'spit or swallow please' and the term 'Spankage'. Everything else it emits from its 380 Watt mouth is just indistinguishable shouting and screaming. The machine is designed to hate and be spiteful to everyone it encounters, but a small bug in the software makes it particularly fond of just a few students it teaches. It favours them above the rest of the class and showers them with praise and prizes. We still do not know today how this behaviour is formed, but it is suspected it has something to do with good behaviour in class. The design of The Suttonator is far from original. It is clearly closely inspired and almost an exact pastiche of Miss Sutton, the English Teacher. The only difference being that the machine cannot lactate; although there is no evidence that the human can either. Like 'Miss Sutton', The Suttonator has weaknesses: It hates to be humiliated in front of an audience and particularly dislikes people who are irritatingly cheerful. If you are subject of this, then you may be asked to 'stay behind after class'; a cheap but effective ploy in eliminating the perpetrator. No machine is without disadvantages, and The Suttonator has a severe problem with agility. Due to it's obscene weight and wide-birth extremities, it's top speed is 0.36 km/h, and has trouble fitting through doorways that it immediately claims have shrunk. Always dressed in a green coat, this machine closely resembles a concorde pear, with it's very wide hips, narrowing towards towards the head.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
I loved it! Excellent quality!
I received the mug as a gift from a friend with whom I exchange "Weekaversary" eMails. I love the concept but am wondering why "aniversary" is spelled with only one "n?"
Wish it had the example text as well, but I loved it anyway
It’s great to be able to create your own mug.
My name is is Geet and literally this is literally a gem of a souvenir to have with me XD.
I love to put my lips on this in the morning
this mug got me hard
greatest mug ever.