maury show

Daytime "talk" show hosted by TV personality Maury Povich. Topics are limited, but incredibly entertaining, specifically paternity tests. Only show topics ever done nowadays are- 1) - Paternity Tests The best! See you are not the father 2) - Cheaters Revealing Secrets If your significant other wanted to bring you on the Maury Show to reveal a "deep secret", what the hell do you think it is? Geez! 3) - Cheaters Denying Cheating Maury: Lashawn, we asked you if you had sex with 40 women since you have been with Nykesha. You said 'no', the lie detector test determined that was a lie, it was actually 125. Nykesha: You done! Dat's it! You out! Get out my house! Lashawn: Dat test iz wrong! I ain't nevah cheated! 4) - Fat Babies Jenny: My son is 2 years old and weighs 115 lbs. I feed him Snickers, Ho-ho's, steak, chicken, whatever he wants! He's my child and I'ma raise him! 5) - I Used to Be Ugly... Maury: Joe, do you remember Cecila? Joe: Yeah, she was the ugliest girl in school Maury: Well, she's changed alot since then, look at her now! *Cecila, tummy tuck, boob job, 2000 lbs. of makeup and all comes out and dances seductively for the crowd Cecila: I'm hot and sexy now though the miracles of 40 plastic surgeries! 6) - My 10 year old is out of control! Mom: Maury, you have to help my daughter! Daughter: I'm only 10 years old and I do what I want. I swear, drink, and steal. I even kicked my mom in the head once! Nobody tells me what to do! Mom: *sobs* Crowd: Boooooo! Daughter: Whateva! Whateva! Y'all don' know me! Y'all don' know me! Maury: Guess what? You're going to boot camp! Crowd: Yayyyyy! Big Black Guy (to daughter): Sit down! Shut up! Apologize to your mother now! Shut your mouth! *yell, yell yell* Daughter (2 days later): I'm so sorry Mom *sob* *sob*, I love you!!