Timothy Treadwell Mug
Born Timothy Dexter. Classic narcissist. Reformed alcoholic and drug addict, might not have entirely straightened out. Claimed, without verification, to have been the theoretical second choice for the role of Woody Harrelson's character, "Woody" Boyd, in Cheers. Became a wacky pseudo-environmentalist wingnutscrewballsup who travelled to Alaska from round about 1990 to his death in 2003 to try to get ... close to ... bears. Documented his exploits on videocam, some of said footage making the guts of Werner Hertzog's biopic "Grizzly Man". Ended up doing a Michael Jackson impression over steaming bear shit. Came to believe he was the bears' last good hope, and started ranting on-camera against the wildlife service, humanity in general, et cetera. In the autumn of 2003 he tried heading back south to be with his family or other friends; at the airport he got into a towering rage with somebody and failed to board the plane, instead returning to the Alaskan lake shore where he had spent the summer. Unfortunately and despite his assumed name, in so doing he didn't tread very well at all. In the meantime his favourite bear clan had all gone into hibernation and another group had moved in to time-share the place, where a few weeks later Treadwell was reminded of the six basic relationships an animal species may have with other animals in the wild: you ignore it, it picks off your parasites, you pick off its parasites, you fuck it, you eat it, it eats you. This list included the last option, and unfortunately he had taken his latest girlfriend along for the ride as well. After the bears had dined on long pig to their hearts' content the park rangers arrived to collect the leftovers and shoot the bears. Living proof (better still, dead proof) that you shouldn't believe everything you see on Walt Disney movies.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
this is my new piss mug
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.