Fort Clocks
Fort Clocks is the United States' national depository of timepieces. All of the nation's important clocks, watches, sundials, etc. are held in this near impenetrable fortress located in scenic Charleston, West Virginia. Fort Clocks was deliberately not built in Kentucky like the equally important Fort Knox because Kentucky resides in a state that is split between two time zones and is thus inconvenient for a fortress tasked with maintaining the world's most important timepieces. Of the invaluable clocks contained within the cement walls of Fort Clocks include: The World's Fastest Clock, one of those melting clocks Dali used in his paintings, the atomic clock (which runs almost entirely on the cutting age technology of 'atoms'), the pocket watch that Abraham Lincoln was looking at before his unfortunate death, the new year's eve timer that sits below the ball in New York, an hour glass filled entirely with the souls of dead orphans, the world's most inaccurate sundial, and the timer used in the hit show '24'. Fort Clocks also harbors an elite military force that is responsible for maintaining the natural flow of time by assassinating anyone in research of time travel. This task force is single handedly responsible for why Einstein's "Theory" of Relativity is still just theory. Built in 1876 to mark the centennial of the signing of the declaration of independence, Fort Clocks boasts a plethora of defensive features. No one can know for sure exactly what those features are since most of Fort Clocks is underground and visitors are not permitted to be within 800 meters of the structure, but rest assured that our nation's clocks under protected with the greatest care and precision.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
My friend saw the message on the cup ordered at a mutual friends house. We think it’s hilarious so had to put it on a coffee cup. Funny, great Christmas present. If she can’t use in public she can always use at home for pens and pencils on her desk!
Bought the "Bump Down" mug for my boyfriend, he thought it was the greatest and couldn't believe I'd actually found something with the phrase on it!
Great mug but i can't manage to get it out of my asshole again
First heard the term “Cheddar Headed” from the song Feel Good by the Gorillaz. Had to look it up and found the definition hilarious and at times very true! So......had to have it! Took it to work and it definitely made an impression. Hahaha!
This was purchased as a gift , and it describes the recipient perfectly . It arrived sooner than expected, and I am very impressed with the quality .
The mug I ordered was exactly as described on the site. The shipping was fast as well. I will buy from these people again.
Cute mug, arrived promptly in great condition. I like how you can choose background color & change wording. Will feel cheerful when drinking my coffee in this :)
Heavenly Mug This mug has been sent from the heavens. I'm too broke to buy it. But one day... I will. I will be mugged, dammit!
Why am I here? I don't know how I got here, but I can't stop writing weird things on the cup...😅 Help me. I have a test to study for. A family. Also, if I wasn't broke I would buy 10,000 of these mugs. They look highly entertaining. Love this website, and I probably will fail the test. 🙃
I took time designing it but wasn't sure, online tools being what they are, that what I was seeing was for sure what I'd get. Very much appreciated the customer service communication which verified that what I'd designed was what I wanted, and the shipping was quick too.
Item came on time as promised
Came within a week and it's exactly what I ordered, my friend will love it!
Sus cup I bought the sus mug for the sus king Daequan
Good quality, packaging shipped well, arrived quickly.
My mug came in broken but Urban Dictionary replaced it at no extra charge!
Excellent mug excellent service
this is the best for coffee and hot coco especially if you make the hot coco in it then pour it on your significant other and do body shots 😋🥱
I can pass away peacefully. This mug is everything I’ve ever needed and more. Fat thank you, Urban Dictionary. <3
I was really excited to receive this mug and when it did come it was perfect quality. My only complaint is that the color I choose was green teal but it came in yellow.
As always, easy to order and not-too-long of a wait for the finished product to arrive. It’s well-printed, and very sturdy. A great gag present for wedding party members.
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