PISH

Concurrent with popular opinion, it is in fact possible to die as a direct result of management assignments. The first known case was a result of a management course at Perth Collage (sic). The condition, known as Perth (Collage) Induced Self Harm (or PISH) is common among those taking management courses. Symptoms can include burnt foreheads (from falling asleep against computer monitors), painful index finger (from repeatedly flicking through difficult to use online texts on deciphering management speak) and in some cases a small depression in the candidate's desk (from repeated head-banging). If not treated quickly through Nocturnal Infusions Gained from Highly Tasty Solutions, Obtained Under Tempo (NIGHTS OUT), the condition can quickly progress, leading to total psychological breakdown, self-severance of limbs through chewing and eventually death from choking on a managment course folder. However prevention is better than cure, and so it remains best to stay objective while undertaking management work, and let the mind-numbing jargon wash over you. If you do this, you may even get as far as the second question before breaking down.