New Canaan Police Mug
A piss-poor excuse for a police department that "serves" the town of Orange Coun - er, New Canaan Connecticut. Due to the absence of any real crime in New Canaan, the responsibilities of the glorious NCPD includes pulling over newly licensed teenagers for 5-10mph speeding and bitching at them like they just committed homicide. It's a real good thing they stuck it to those hardened criminals by putting unnecessary blemishes on their driving records and skyrocketing their parents' insurance premiums. Go New Canaan. The flagship officers of the department often secure the more high-risk calls, such as standing around like dumbasses at school dances and other events, and then make frequent visits to the school parking lot for the rest of the night where they intercept teenagers returning to pick up their cars after having some fun with their friends, question them, and often breathalyze them as they do at the entrance to every school dance. Even more pitiful than the police who ride around in their cruisers searching for teenagers to harass while they ignore the real threat - braindead trophy wives driving on their cell phones - are the "Bike Patrol Corps." Yes, New Canaan Police have their very own BIKE SQUAD. Consisting of the cops that were too much of an embarrassment even on standard traffic duty, the Bike Patrol cops endure a 2 week training course the police themselves describe as "RIGOROUS" to become bike cops. Requirements for admission to the bike corps include the following... -The balls to wear short-shorts over your gelatinous, hairy legs -The ability to ride a bike without training wheels -Total lack of self-esteem
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
I loved it! Excellent quality!
I received the mug as a gift from a friend with whom I exchange "Weekaversary" eMails. I love the concept but am wondering why "aniversary" is spelled with only one "n?"
Wish it had the example text as well, but I loved it anyway
It’s great to be able to create your own mug.
My name is is Geet and literally this is literally a gem of a souvenir to have with me XD.
I love to put my lips on this in the morning
this mug got me hard
greatest mug ever.