loafism

Loafism: (one who practices Loafism shall be called a Loafismer) You may ask, how does one become a Loafismer? Well, an angel has this to say upon the very subject: "At worship services new members may be initiated into Loafism, if found acceptable." there are no other requirements because we don't need a better reason. A set of beliefs one can follow, but you really don't have to, these are purely suggestions. Loafism and the Individual: A List of commandments: -Thou shall worship ska, the holiest form of prayer -Thou shall play more than one musical instrument -Thou shall worship thine holiest form of transport, the Loafmobile (hazard lights and windshield wipers are not optional and driving forwards or using the gear symbolized by a number or the letter "D" is also generally frowned upon, seatbelts required or you may become the target of shoefu, explained later) -Thou shalt not underestimate the awesome power of sleep -Thou shalt not perform chores, or appear to find solace in chores -Thou Shalt not enjoy homework.... ever! If you fail to heed these You may end up getting yourself "Loafed" Loafed: to be punched suddenly for an insult and or any form of disrespect. Unless the offense annoys the crap out of a fellow Loafismer, then the ritual of ShoeFu ensues, but one can forgo protocol and just skip Loafing, because there really isn't a protocol! ShoeFu: "The national sport of Loafism which is practiced throughout most worship sessions. This competition takes place whenever a believer may get on another’s nerve, or may be practiced purely for amusement. The act of ShoeFu is accomplished by removing one’s own foot apparel and bludgeoning another fellow Loafismer."