Mortanius
1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms: -man-sized roach -mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology -various trees -crude robot -various insects -Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it. -sickly human -jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner -television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs') In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly. The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay. He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
i loved the mug, gave it to my grandmother on her birthday
The mug is great! I bought it as a gag gift for a friend, and I didn't really think it was going to be a good mug, but when I got it I was super surprised! It is really high quality feeling ceramic and the print is very clear and good looking. It was also packaged really well, and the shipping process was nice too! It did take longer than I thought to get here, but it's understandable as I did order it custom. In all it is an amazing mug and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for myself.
This mug is great! It comes in perfect condition and I love that you can change the definitions! I put my name and then I put the definition as ‘the best person’. Made my day every time I picked it up.
My name is Asher, I looked my name up a few days ago and we all had a good laugh. Now, this mug is my go to morning mug for drinking my herbal tea and plotting to take over the realms.
I just love it. Just like I ordered!
Exactly as promised.
To beginulate, the muglification of the vessel is both pleasing to the eye as well as the hand. Secondly, the option of choosing one's own colors adds to the lessening if the so called " buyer's remorse" which so often accompanies modern "on line" purchases.

My husband absolutely loves this! This was a difficult product to find but it turned out perfectly! He was cracking up. Definitely worth the buy.
I bought this mug for my daughter for Valentine’s Day. She saw the different descriptions of her name on your site, and read every one of them!! She then found a mug with everything written about her name on it. So, I am surprising her with it. The mug looks great. Quick delivery!

I live in a Hillbilly Condo & love my flamingo pink mug.
Annie from the customer service team helped me out tremendously with some adjustments that I wanted done after my order was placed. I really appreciate her willingness to go above and beyond for my request. The product was received exactly how I wanted it! One happy customer over here. Thanks!
I love the item I ordered but found the website a little difficult to navigate.
Now this has been my favourite mug by far. I put the word of scrunkly on it just as i had envisioned. Now to know why i picked a scrunkly mug, we need to go back all the way to the year of 2016. It was a day like no other, the birds were tweeting. We were all laughing while playing in the playground. Then came that fateful moment. A cackle was heard screeching throughout the lands. I turned my head in complete and utter fear. Two seagulls stood there. One was cackling while a red liquid dropped from its mouth. The head of the seagull next to it was missing. The seagull had consumed its friend's head! A betrayal, no... a parley even! To this day I still hear the words which left that evil beast's beak. It said, "Awww, the scrunkly". It then flew off into the sunset, leaving nothing but chaos and carnage behind. Anyways 10/10 for the mug. Would buy again.
Came in like ordered, solid mug
The mug arrived as shown and expected. But, it is an average mug and the cost is quite high. It's funny and good as a one time gift. If we needed several, the cost would be prohibited. Again, funny product and as expected.
Love it. I can't wait to give it as a gift yo
This is lafayetti yummi yum yum Oui oui mon ami je m'appelle lafayette The lancelot of the revolutionary set I came from afar just to say "Bonsoir" Tell the king "Casse toi" Who's the best C'est moi
Awesome purchase, I can't wait to show off my "Progressively Straight" mug at Starbucks.
Mug was delivered undamaged just as ordered.
My order came quickly. Packaged well. Great job.
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