Mortanius
1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms: -man-sized roach -mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology -various trees -crude robot -various insects -Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it. -sickly human -jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner -television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs') In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly. The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay. He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye
I love the costume coffee mug. What can you say that's bad about it. It's your choice after all. It's the best mug and I love it😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️
these mugs are amazing. I can't
My Power Bottom Queen loves her eggplant colored mug and I let her celebrate her title whenever she so chooses
I use black hobby paint & small brush to add recipient’s name to back of mug (which I requested be left blank - thank you!). This is a terrific gift for hard-to-buy-for slightly warped friends! BG
good mug but why does it sometimes say creepy things to me kinda sus ngl
up ya bum
Fast shipment Better than expected!
Customer service was very responsive and helpful
Wowzers
Every web purchase should be this easy! Love it!
Great quality, although a high price for a mug! Printed really nicely and came out really well. $30 worth the laugh.
High quality finish
I just love mugs
balls
HA HA I USED FUNNI NUMBER FUNNI NUMBER GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
gave it to my mom, she was proud. (shes dead)
My maiden name was Puddy and I just loved this mug that defined what Puddy means! I bought one for my brother as well as one for me… And this is the first time in all of our 70 + years that we have heard Puddy defined! We both are super grateful!
The color of the block highlighting the subject word was labeled "Flamingo Pink", but on the mug, it's actually closer to lilac and the woman I bought this mug for loves the color pink. I do like the apparent permanence of the design on the mug, I'm just disappointed with the inaccuracy of the color.
One day when I was walking down the street a man gave me this mug and said that it will be the best thing that ever happened to me, when I got home I filled the mug with the most delicious coffee and I became a penis. this is the best mug in the world thank you kind stranger for giving me this.
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