Chicago Ted Mug
Chicago Ted is the greatest man to ever live. Long ago, in the Himalayas, the abominable snow man mated with a dragon. Their offspring then mated with Mount Everest, resulting in quite an odd creature, but oh... was it powerful. This creature then mated with a woman in the year 1970. After three years of pregnancy, the woman gave birth to a boy with a name unpronounceable by the human tongue in Chicago. As soon as it first opened it's eyes, the United States had a stock market crash. (See 1973 Stock Market Crash.) He weighed 28 pounds. It was pure muscle. When the zombie outbreak occurred, he battled the zombies by hand from Chicago to Pennsylvania, where he ascended a steel mill and created a steel coffin.., for himself. He then buried himself 68 feet underground, while inside the coffin, out of sheer will. He awaits there to this day, for when the dead walk the Earth again, so will Chicago Ted.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts
awesome product!
This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
This mug made me horny.