Urban Dictionary Tees

cougar crush: Having a crush on a cougar. See cougar.

attention whore: Label given to any person who craves attention to such an extent that they will do anything to receive it. The type of attention (negative or positive) does not matter.

broner: A slang term used to explain the phenomenon during which a fiercly heterosexual male achieves an erection (or, "boner") for or while in the company of one of his male friends (or, "bros"). This may only occur while engaging in all-male activities, particularly those which include feats of strength or displays of hyper-masculinity. Upon achieving a broner, the man in question is often known to exclaim, "dude, suck that shit!" or "meet me in the shower."

underboob: cleavage visible from the part of the shirt that covers the bottom of the female breasts

Procrasturbating: Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourself while pressing matters await.

cactus legs: the feeling on a woman's legs as a result of not having shaved.

Caraoke: Singing along with music in a car, especially loudly and passionately.

Facebook crush: A crush on a FB friend is characterized by the unexplainable urge to revisit the friend's Photos tab repeatedly and checking to see if other friends have written new messages on their Wall. Usually afflicts users who are only somewhat acquainted.

bangover: Sore neck as a result of headbanging at a metal concert.

remembeer: The act of remembering, with or without success, a night of inebriation.

GMAS: Acronym for give me a second.

porn storm: Surfing for porn and getting bombarded with pop-up windows.

shoe whore: 1. Someone who owns too many shoes. 2. Like a bag hag but obsessed with shoes.

call the roll: When it feels like everyone you know is at a bar, club, or pub, so you could do a roll call like back at school. People may optionally call out to all their mates, lads, hoods, bros, crew, etc one by one like at school roll call. Similar concept occurs when teachers go out at night and see all of their current or former students out at the same venue.

bedding the rules: When you sleep with a figure of authority in order to move higher up whatever ladder you are on.

objectively attractive: A phrase used by a spouse or significant other who is incapable of admitting they find another person truly handsome, beautiful, or sexually attractive.

courtesy fart: When someone accidentally farts and is embarrased, you should, if you have one ready, let one fly as well. This is a courtesy fart. This is an opportune time for you to release since then the two fart smells will interfere and no one will discover how unbelievibly nasty your ass is.

maybe later: a slightly less (or more) dick way of saying "no fucking way."

hinky: Something as yet undefinable is wrong, out of place; not quite right.

Restless Lip Syndrome: When a person keeps interrupting a conversation and can't keep their mouth shut.

The book off: The act of getting a book out on the train, tube bus or plane in order to avoid talking to the person next to you. Substitutes include a newspaper, phone or iPod.

Tattoo Remorse: Looking back on a tattoo you got when you were younger, or thought would be cool at the time, you realize the tattoo is stupid and wish you had never gotten it in the first place.

microvisit: The real-world equivalent of microblogging. Stopping by to talk to someone for 140 seconds or less.

anuscript: The script of a pornographic movie.

High Crime: A crime commited while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. High crimes are usually fairly harmless and poorly thought out. They are met with regret or a completely loss of memory of their occurance the next day. Victims of these crimes are usually perplexed as to why they were targeted. Vandialism, theft, and verbal/physical assult are most common.

Upper Case voice: Noun. to raise your voice or accentuate part of a sentence to stress significance as you would while typing in the digital world.

cyberchondriac: Someone who spends their time searching medical websites for diseases they convince themselves they actually have Similiar to a hyperchondriac

impactful: A non-existent word coined by corporate advertising, marketing and business drones to make their work sound far more useful, exciting and beneficial to humanity than it really is. This term is most frequently used in "team building" seminars and conferences in which said drones discuss the most effective ways to convince consumer zombies to purchase crap they clearly do not need or even want.