Urban Dictionary Tees

Career Veneer: The thin layer of potential for career advancement, increase in pay and future opportunities that an employer paints on your job to convince you that the future holds something more than you are currently experiencing.

airport vultures: Passengers waiting to board a plane who stalk around near and clog up the boarding gate before a flight, regardless of where their seat is or when boarding actually is.

Cerebral Bulimia: Binging and purging of the brain.

bingo tease: a person who claims to have bingo but does not

ears lowered: A slang term for a hair cut.

seat gypsie: A person or group of people that travel from one unclaimed seat to another (normally at sporting events) because their cheap asses couldn't fork up the money for better seats. Said people are forced to move once seats are claimed by the rightful ticket holders.

etm.: Latin abbreviation for the literal translation of "and shit", specifically, "et merda". Just like "etc." (and so forth), "i.e." (that is), and "e.g." (for example), "etm." can be used to abbreviate "and shit".

Nap mouth: The bad taste in your mouth just after waking up from a nap.

brand new: a person's behavior which is drastically different than normal usually because they are in the presence of certain people.

Autotan: The method of artificially enhancing one's tan in pictures after them being taken using some photo editing software. The most common way of doing this is increasing the saturation of the photo, then uploading to social networking sites. Derived from Auto-tune, the software used to enhance vocals in many modern songs.

dead text: a text that is recieved too long after is sent so you are no longer obligated to reply to it.

cell phone samba: the erratic movements of a person trying to get better cell phone service.

screenior citizen: An old person who spends all his/her time at the computer or television.

beer me: Besides the obvious "give me a beer," it is used to ask someone to pass or hand an object to you. It also can be used in a more figurative sense as a request or plea. Used by character Andy in "Product Recall" ep. of "The Office" ("the joke only gets a laugh 25% of the time").

Vatican Roulette: Another name for the rhythm method of birth control. Called so because it is the only form of contraception endorsed by the Catholic Church.

Snope: To use knowledge gained from an urban legends website or other research to administer a firm rebuke to people who chronically forward junk to your inbox. This action may involve hitting the reply-all button (public snoping).

Right of Wave: The expectation that a fellow driver will offer a wave after allowing them to cut into traffic.

thrift whore: 1. a person who shops at many different thrift stores, thereby often finding wonderful deals. 2. One who feels the urge to brag about every single piece of crp they find at a thrift store.

workweek creep: 1) Constant connectivity via your smartphone and computer blurs the boundaries between your work life and your personal life. 2) Constant connectivity at work via e-mail & chat, results in so many interruptions that you cannot get blocks of time to do any thinking, resulting in you catching up on your work at home on nights and weekends.

GTL: The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

Dweet: (verb) tweeting while intoxicated

testicular fortitude: balls, guts, intestinal fortitude

geriatric bypass: 1. The act of denying your actual age in order to give others the impression that you are younger. 2. A medical procedure intended to provide persons of advanced years the appearance of being younger.

cheappuccino: Any of the wide variety of flavored coffee drinks offered at convenience stores such as Circle K or 7 Eleven that can be purchased for less than half the price of a Starbucks cappuccino.

pockets on swole: Having pockets full of money, i.e. swolen

nomonym: When you eat something and it tastes like something else. Things often taste like chicken but chicken rarely tastes like other things.

I'm picking the corn out your shit: 1) Understanding what another person is saying, 2) Hearing the main points of a conversation, lecture or instructions and filtering out the rest

tanorexia: A disease like anorexia, no matter how tan a person is they never think they are tan enough. tanorexic