Urban Dictionary Tees

microwait: Consequence of the lunchtime rush for the microwave in corporate settings.

workout impostor: One who walks around in workout or gym-like clothing to give the effect that they have worked out or gone to the gym today or are planning to work out or go to the gym today when in reality they have not or are not going to. One usually does this to make oneself feel better about their physique or to seem like they are physically fit when in reality they have done nothing today.

Do you like hobbies?: Something you say during an awkward pause in conversation in attempt to start conversation. However this will just make the conversation more awkward and draw attention to the pause.

1 yard stare: Similar to the 1,000 yard stare that veterans acquire, the 1 yard stare is a trait that people that work in cubicles or open workspaces pick up as they will avoid noticing anything that is not on their computer monitor.

brainspin: The inability to sleep because of your mind fixating on a thought.

stfu: 1) Acronym used for the phrase "shut the fuck up" for efficiency reasons.

Words with friends with benefits: When in the course of playing a member of the opposite sex in words with friends. You or they play provocative words as if to drop hints.

productive procrastination: n. Doing stuff to keep busy while avoiding what really needs doing. When all is said and done, your room is clean, your laundry is folded -- but you haven't started your English paper.

Lent Trap: /lɛnt træp/ noun In couples where one party is Catholic and the other is not, the unwilling subjection of the non-Catholic to the 40-day ritual of penitence known as Lent.

fappable: Something that is sexually desirable, or deemed high enough quality that it can be used for masturbation purposes.

microwave mentality: Having the attitude that if something can't be done in 5 minutes or less, it's not worth doing.

dutch oven: The act of trapping a person under bed covers after releasing vile ass fumes

pixel counting: The act of staring at one's screen to avoid bullshit at work.

Perfectionist Paralysis: The inability to start on a project, assignment, essay or any creative task due to the fear of not getting it perfectly right.

superstistics: The use of prior evidence of one event to predict the outcome of another unrelated event - from the words superstitious and statistics.

Russian Toilette: After sitting on the toilet to poop, you notice that there is less than one-quarter of a roll of toilet paper, and no spare in the bathroom. You decide to poop anyway, gambling on the fact you will have enough toilet paper to have a satifying wipe.

retard in aluminum foil: What a lady's knight in shining armor becomes when she really gets to know him.

laborhood: The neighborhood in which you work, if different from the neighborhood in which you live.

Bipolar Texter: An individual who will suddenly, mid-conversation stop responding to you via text. Or, an individual who has reckless emotional swings through text message.

pop a squat: to sit down or to take a seat.

Work Mouth: A form of self-censorship practiced at work to avoid offensive or cuss words. Typically includes cuss-replacements you learned from your grandma. Potentially embarrassing if accidentally used outside of work at parties or in the company of your drunk friends. May also be used in the company of grandparents, teachers, preachers, and others who disapprove of cussing. Does not apply to all professions. Musicians and construction workers have no need for a work mouth.

president please: Reaction of something that is unbelievable. Usually used as a more politically correct substitute of n***a please.

first: a word that is said when you are the first one to post a comment on a video, picture, article on the net

bowl noob: Someone who puts a bowl in the dishwasher facing down with a less than 45 degree angle of attack. Hence the dishwasher can not wash the inners on the bowl.

Unbrella: An umbrella turned inside out by forceful wind.

social chameleon: someone who changes the way they interact with people depending on who they're with.

going ham: a derivative of the word mayhem v. meaning to raise mayhem

page clicker: An eBook that is exciting to read and hard to put down.