Urban Dictionary Tees

work paralysis: n. the inability to get work done because of it's large quantity. Similar to writer's block, but applies to all work with a deadline.

Fuck You Tax: A non-discretionary charge or fee placed on orders or purchases from certain companies, frequently ticket retailers and cinemas. The charge never relates to a specific cost incurred by the company and is purely an additional fee to boost profits. So called as the company in question knows the consumer has no option but to pay, so their charging it is the company saying, "Fuck You, Pay it."

Killing two pigs with one bird: A modern version of the popular saying "killing two birds with one stone." derived from the popular video game "angry birds."

soberchat: Having a conversation while not intoxicated. Generally used to postpone the remainder of a conversation until both parties are sober. Putting off a conversation until everyone involved is capable of making good decisions.

Friday: The day after Thursday and before Saturday, according to Rebecca Black. Also the most annoying day of the week now.

rich uncle: Uncle Sam. so named for government's spending habits.

net lag: A feeling like jetlag that happens after you use your computer after sunset and the bright backlight tricks your body into thinking it's still daytime. (For details, google "photoentrainment".)

office quarterback: a manager that is infamously known for handing off their work and other useless assignments to you that they could and should be doing themselves

fauxpology: When a person makes it sound like they are apologizing when, in fact, they are just shifting the blame or using twisted logic to argue their way out of responsibility for their actions.

spoiler alert: Usu. a term to describe when crucial elements of a movie are about to be revealed (i.e. the ending, character deaths, a twist, etc.)

Pooformance Anxiety: Anxiety concerning the act of defecation, most often related to pooping in public restrooms.

wikiot: An fool who believes all information found on Wikipedia is accurate and true.

sympathy seeker: A person whose status updates on facebook are solely for the purpose of gaining sympathy.

Squirmish: A verbal stoush between two or more parties that is so petty, pointless, misinformed or ill-conceived that it makes witnesses wince with embarrassment, or so uncomfortable that they don't know where to look.

brain boner: Something that strikes a chord in someone's thinking, creating a spur of "enlightenment" and stimulation in knowledge, especially in subjects like philosophy & logic.

hipster head bob: A small nod of the head, done repetitively in synchronization with music. Denotes approval of music by the listener. Performed at concerts by concert-goers, or while listening to music by the listener. Substituted for dancing by hipsters, who are too cool to dance.

Defensive Eating: Strategically consuming food for the sole purpose of preventing others from getting it.

Brand Dropping: Mentioning that you're wearing an expensive brand of clothing, using an expensive piece of technology, or bragging about other items that you own which are of high value. Brand Dropping is similar to name dropping, the main difference is mentioning merchandise in lieu of a person.

celebrity lay: A specific celebrity you and your significant other mutually agreed that it would be okay to have sex with should the two of you ever meet in public and have a one night stand.

Christmas Syndrome: When you are looking forward to something constantly, to the point of obsession, causing the actual event to seem short and dull in comparison.

Message anxiety: Message Anxiety: The act of pausing, freezing up, dreading, or avoiding the viewing of a E-mail, text message, or voice mail that you fear might be bad, negetive, or of major importance for you.

polarpoint presentation: When the temperature in a conference or meeting room is turned way down to ensure that no one will be able to nod off during a meeting.

Safe Sexting: The act of using a password or other safety feature to prevent your friends, parents, girlfriends, etc from discovering your assortment of hot or racy pictures on your cell, computer, email or other encrypt-able devices.

pillow lust: That feeling that college students experience where they feel so exhausted that the idea of their face hitting their pillow sounds so utterly fantastic, it's almost sexual.

Concert Hangover: The feeling of grogginess and/or deafness after attending a loud concert.

beardo: A weirdo with a beard.

Irish twins: Children, born in succession within one year

Froday: The day you finally realize you are in desperate need of a haircut