Urban Dictionary Tees

ProcrastinEating: The consumption of food undertaken to avoid a dull or arduous task, irrespective of hunger levels or the time of day.

sextee: The receiver of a sext message.

chat blue balls: The anxiety and suspense involved in staring as you see a friend is typing an instant message or facebook chat message but never seems to complete it. The feeling can last for minutes or even hours. Unfortunately unlike actual blue balls, chat blue balls can not be relieved by jerking off.

unrequited besties: When one person thinks you are best friends, but you in turn consider another to be your best friend. This chain can involve many until two agree upon their mutual bestiship.

beef walk: Going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequence.

Netglow: Someone (or something) that is better online than in real life.

MBAese: The indecipherable language taught in MBA factories where the user has mastered the art of using large, multisyllabic words to make meaningless, intelligent sounding action statements.

Word up, kids?: What your mom says when she's trying to be cool. You know she says it.

Google harder: A phrase used in response to someone whining about not being able to find something on Google. An expert googler would then show some resemblance of pity and assist by immediately googling for the desired information successfully.

meatox: the act of abstaining from eating meat for a period of time, usually after heavily indulging.

reality challenged: (adj.) being in a state in which one is utterly and completely unable to distinguish fact from fiction, and is thus obviously and undeniably full of shit.

I'm Good: Rejection of and ridicule for an offered good or service by feigning satiation. When "No Thank You" just won't do.

Carb Coma: The sleepy feeling after eating a large meal comprised chiefly of carbohydrates, whether in the form of rice, noodles, bread or dough.

Back Door Braggart: n. A person who states a problem that they have with the express intention of letting everyone know how awesome they think they are, revealing their douche baggery to all. v. Back Door Bragging: The act of expressing a false statement in order to set up the conversation to prove how (seemingly) fantastic the subject finds themselves. effect: typically leads to eye rolls and general annoyance with subject.

Thought wad: a sudden burst and outpouring of ideas, thoughts, creativeness, or conversation topics, often followed by a severe lack thereof.

sore winner: A sore winner is someone who wins and spends far too much time gloating over it, to the point that the rest of the people feel poorly about even participating.

premarital text: The act of texting (text messaging) a member of the opposite sex, outside the confines of a relationship, in flirtatious ways, often insinuating the desire for a deeper, intimate relationship.

Fucking Retrospect: A phrase used to describe the agonizing frustration of realizing that you did something you regret, and wanting to do it differently but realizing it after-the-fact. This typically occurs about 5 minutes later but the realization of such can occur years later...

cockblocalypse: When you're out at the bar and you get cockblocked SO BAD it's like the end of the world as you know it.

Antisocial Networking: Using a social networking web site or service to connect to other people but never communicating with those people once they have been established as a connection.

post-acquaintance friend request: The friend request sent right after meeting someone for the first time.

apocalypse sex: Thoughtless, careless sex happening right before a major disaster or possible ending of the world, without thought of consequences.

I know, right?: An affirmation that you agree with or can relate to the preceding statement. It can be used whether the speaker actually knows or not, but in the latter case it usually means that the speaker can attribute the preceding statement to themselves as well.

edgehog: a passenger at the bus who hogs the aisle seat

bed gravity: An irresistible force that draws you back to bed, or toward any mattress, couch, or other soft horizontal surface. Usually stronger when one or more persons are already on said furnature.

pop culture shock: When a person is out of the loop or not up to date on pop culture, and your attempts to explain them just confuse them even more.

flexting: (v.) To text so extensively and in such a manner that it is flirting.

big in japan: To say/pretend you are someone of stature somewhere else, meaningless and not verifiable where you currently are.