Urban Dictionary Tees

apartment ninja: One who steps lightly on the floor in a second/third story apartment. One who sneaks into the neighbor's apartment through the patio door.

Down To Fap: Unfortunately for many, the feeling of being Down To Fuck is not well received or reciprocated by others. So these people, after lurking the clubs for hours must return home alone and settle for simply being Down To Fap.

Google smart: When someone has to google a topic, then post the information, as if they came up with it all on their own.

Healthy Gas: The gas (fart) produced from a person who has eaten healthy foods like cabbage, beans, broccolli, grains, or other high fiber, high carbohydrate foods.

touron: A combination of a tourist and a moron.

Broscience: Broscience is the predominant brand of reasoning in bodybuilding circles where the anecdotal reports of jacked dudes are considered more credible than scientific research.

carbo bloating: n. The resultant feeling of unease from ingesting too many carbohydrates in the days leading up to a marathon.

driving the Bronco: An accomplice or accessory to an act. A reference to A.C. Cowlings driving O.J. Simpson on a nationally televised slow-speed freeway chase after the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

5 To 3 Scale: A scale used to amaze and confuse stoners and otherwise slow people.

going commandtoe: Going commandtoe is when you wear shoes without socks. Often done in the summer or if no socks are available. Does not apply to when wearing sandals/flip-flops because socks in that context would just be wrong anyway.

congressional: to act infantile and obstinate; to reject common sense in favor of self-interest regardless of consequences

brinksmanshit: When two or more parties have entered separate bathroom stalls at nearly the same time and deliberately delay moving their bowels so as not to be the one to break the often awkward and intense silence.

Resolutionist: A person who joins the gym in early January because of their New Years Resolution. Resolutionists can be spotted by their pasty white skin, excessive fat, poor form, and blank look on their face as they stand next to any piece of gym equipment. Resolutionists usually migrate back to the couch any time from mid-January to early March.

New Year's present: A Christmas present given by a procrastinator.

The 11th Hour: Used to describe the final moments of a given event, or situation where change is still a possibility. Right before a deadline.

Deligious: A food or beverage that is so delicious that ingesting it is akin to a religious experience.

Rage Eat: Verb. To eat furiously and profusely instead of actually dealing with issues. Normally done because the occasion requires a happy attitude, not a controversial one. Most common during family holidays when many treats are available yet much family stress as well.

last minute helper: That person whom shows up AFTER everything else is done and offers to do something AFTER everything is already finished.

Biblical Shit: A shit so epic/huge/painful/life changing that the bible should be rewritten to incorporate it some how.

Police Navidad: when a Christmas party gets out of control, and the cops are called

familiated: To be humiliated in front of ones family.

chief beef: issue of main concern regarding a given subject

Do you even lift?: a condescending expression used on body building and fitness forums to question the legitimacy of someone’s fitness expertise or weight lifting routine. Similar to other interrogatives like “U Mad?” or “U Jelly?”, the phrase is mainly used to aggravate another user during arguments about physical fitness.

christ on a crutch: An expletive usually expressing disbelief or exasperation. It is the opposite to that of a Christian person saying ‘Christ on the cross.’ Somewhat akin to saying ‘Shit on a stick.’

since i fell off my dinosaur: A term used to describe something that you haven't heard or seen in forever.

Reminder Storm: When everyone sitting around you in an office has the same appointment and you hear everyone’s cell phone reminder for that appointment go off at the approximately the same time.

Corporate Blue Balls: What one gets after hours and hours of meetings discussing a decision and the decision is never made.

Concubone: Opposite of concubine. A man in a harem that a powerful woman keeps for sex.