Urban Dictionary Tees

dankrupt: to be out of marijuana

Russian Doll present: When you receive a gift that's been wrapped multiple times, causing you to rip away layer after layer of paper and wondering when it will finally stop while the person who gave it to you looks on with a sadistic grin. Funny the first couple of layers, but can get quite tiring soon.

stoplight stagger: That way you stagger your car at a stoplight so that your window isn't lined up directly with the car next to you so as to avoid awkward eye contact and/or open-window singalongs.

Holiday Package Anxiety: Freaking-out over that special online purchase that's supposed to be delivered before Christmas.

Seagull Management: The seagull manager flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything then flies off again leaving a big mess behind

floor sample: Food that has fallen to the floor that you pick up and eat anyway

tease text: When you lead someone on via text message.

Beeriod: Heavy anal flow resulting from excessive alcohol consumption often accompanied with severe pains

synergasm: Expressing oneself using several business buzzwords in rapid succession.

Drycember: The act of abstaining from masturbation during the month of December.

Clicker's Remorse: The internet analog of buyer's remorse, wherein one comes to regret having clicked on a link of interest after they look up at the clock minutes or hours later and realize that they have invested an inordinate amount of time reading an article, playing a game, conversing with someone, looking at photos, etc. which they would not have spent had they resisted the impulse to "check it out"...

Mitt Romney Money: One that has money beyond that of a normal baller yet pays less taxes than a street pharmaceutical rep or an illegal immigrant.

sushi sickness: The nauseating, upset stomach feeling you sometimes get after dining out on some cheap sushi.

bubblytude: Noun: A state of being lively, animated, excited or full of high spirits

Pavlov's Dougie: When a person hears the song "Teach Me How to Dougie" by Cali Swag District, and has a pavlov's dog-type reaction, being un-able to do anything but the "Dougie" dance. This term references an experiment by Ivan Pavlov in which dogs were trained to salivate upon hearing the ringing of the bell.

cute porn: Any film, video, or series of photos that exists solely to garner the ubiquitous "awww" from its viewers.

boob tube baby: Stereotype used to categorize individuals who fall into a fairly modern trend in child rearing, where the child is not properly raised. Instead the parent(s) occupy the child by setting them in front of a TV as opposed to actively engaging the child in productive activities. This type of childhood typically fosters poor social behaviors and disorders such as ADHD, beckoning use of term.

WTF Lines: Lines on the sides of your eyes and forehead.

Sofa Sunday: 'Sofa Sunday' is the day or days when most people shop for the holiday gifts using their tablets.

Several Joint Liability: When a party is liable for all of the damage incurred by a third party after becoming excessively high on marijuana.

Romneyism: A blurted deeply held politically-incorrect belief that one thinks will rally people to one's cause, or make people more sympathetic to you, that winds up having the directly opposite effect.

Thanksgiving Tetris: The annual act of rearranging your refridgerator in order to accommodate all of your Thanksgiving leftovers.

Thanksgiving Fast: When you don't eat all day in anticipation of your Thanksgiving Feast.

Macaulay Culking: To be home alone, doing whatever, whenever, with whoever

zombie ad: A political advertisement that continues to appear on television or radio stations days if not weeks after the election is over. This includes political signs left in people's yards for months or old political bumper stickers stating one's support for Ross Perot, Bush/Cheney, or Proposition 13 from 1982.

puppy fart syndrome: Puppy fart syndrome is when a person is shocked or woken by their own fart.

Shamecation: A form of punishment wherein an employee fucks up beyond the reprimand of a warning and is put on a disciplinary leave of absence with or without pay.

pentagonorrhea: disease earned through the chain of command in the US military, specifically, from a superior to a subordinate or a hired author