ShartCon Tee
ShartCon is a condition that is much like the DEFCON system used by the Department of Defense. A ShartCon Alert is declared for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to: Abdominal pain combined with mild nausea and vile gurgling from the stomach. The 24-48 hours following a drinking binge. During flu-like symptoms, as well as while on some antibiotics. For at least 4 hours immediately following a confirmed assblast. When a ShartCon Alert is declared, a severity level is assigned in descending order of severity from 5 to 1. (A 5 is technically a "Shart Watch" level) Each individual varies as to what level they are at under the given symptoms and circumstances, as well as the procedures for increasing or decreasing their ShartCon Levels. Criteria that are universal while in ShartCon levels 4 through 2 include the golden rule: One must ALWAYS test fart. Remember the tried and true phrase "Don't want to Shart? TEST FART!". The lower the level, the more cautious the test fart. While under ShartCon 2, one must stay within striking distance of acceptable sit-down toilet facilities. ShartCon 1, the most sever level, requires a strict adherence to the following: You must remain in sphincter-lock until condition improves to at least FartCon 2. This means no test farts of any kind. You must stay within 30 feet of OPEN toilet facilities. If you must sleep in FartCon 1, you must make the necessary bed preparations (towels, wearing multiple pairs of expendable pants garments, etc). Once you've successfully passed a non-Shart on the toilet, you may choose at that time to downgrade to SC 2. BEWARE of the Fart & Sweat as this can lull you into a false sense of confidence and cause you to tragically downgrade while still very much at risk.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Customer Reviews
Fun and soft.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
shirt made me cum
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!
Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡
The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂
My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.