Canada's History Mug
The most depraved sexual act in human history. During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats. Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male. There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration. Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better
it's the best mug of the world !!!!!
wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!
The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant
Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)
Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.
I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.
Gave i as a gift to my teacher she loved it
Sent this to a friend who may have originated the term, now part of slang lexicon. He was very pleased. The color is also perfect. Well done!
this mug summs up my entire life
BEST THING EVER I GOT THIS FOR MMY SON AND HE LOVED IT HE SAID THAT THE FINSTTERD GUY IS WHO HE LOVES AND IM FINE WITH THAT I HOPE HE GOT THE GIRL SOMETHING FOR VALENTINES DAY
Shipped very fast and very carefully! Perfect inside joke gift for a friend. ^_^
IT WAS AMAZING!!! BEST MUG EVERRRRR ITS A MUST BUYYYY!!! 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑
very good for lean 😾😾💪
Damn drinking lean from this hits different. In a good way ofc
As usual very quick professional seller.
ENGAGED IN AN ACT OF COPULATION WITH MY FEMALE PROGENITOR INSIDE THIS MUG 11/10 WOULD ADVISE YOU TO PURCHASE IT
I SHIT IN THIS MUG SO MANY TIMES. Very cool
I literally broke it 10 minutes after opening the package while showing it off. Now my bussy mug is held together with super glue
I use this mug for my lean. Ironic shit am I right