Jesus Mug
I haven't read the Bible, but here's what I've deduced about Jesus from watching Fox News: 1.) Jesus is a die-hard Republican. He spends a lot of his time reading books by Ann Coulter and appearing at fundraisers for groups like Focus on the Family. 2.) Jesus was among the earliest proponents for the invasion of Iraq, and even today He sees the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians as a necessary price to pay for installing a western-style democracy in Iraq. 3.) Jesus is an outspoken proponent of supply-side economics, which favor tax cuts to the wealthy. He's also a huge fan of Ronald Reagan. 4.) Jesus thinks that poor people are poor because they are lazy. 5.) Jesus is appalled by same-sex marriage. He thinks that straight people who hate each other have more of a right to be married than two gay people who love each other. Jesus strongly feels that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice. 6.) Jesus does not believe that global warming is caused by humans. He also thinks that intelligent design should be taught in science classes. 7.) Jesus supports capital punishment, and that's why He desperately wanted George W. Bush to be president, and He couldn't be more pleased with how the Bush Administration turned out. 8.) Jesus never misses the O'Reilly factor. And He absolutely hates the Colbert Report. 9). Jesus is radically opposed to a provision of health care to all citizens. He thinks it would lead to a welfare state. 10. And finally, Jesus is really upset that Barack Obama won the 2008 election. He has decided that a second coming will be necessary, and He will rapture people into the heavens on the basis of their party affiliations and campaign contributions.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts
awesome product!
This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
This mug made me horny.
looks perfect!!! we loved it
I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen
I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better
it's the best mug of the world !!!!!
wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!
The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant