PROM

Prom is an expensive dance, both money and dignity wise, that juniors and seniors are invited to in high school.Younger classmates can only go if they go with an upper classmate. Which means, if you're a younger girl... you can usually find someone, someone whom you don't like even, to take you. If you're a younger guy... you'll lay at home on your bed on the brink of tears repeatedly playing Pearl Jam's song,"Black" while being bombarded by mental movies of your friends and especially your crush or some older girl who's caught your eye having the time of their lives' laughing and dancing with someone who isn't you. Eventually, you'll fall asleep yanking it to one of the old copies of "Playboy" you keep hidden under your mattress for desperate times like these. Not too worry, eventually your time comes and now it's your turn to attend the event rivaled only by the Second Coming of Christ. Except now, all the hot girls are gone, probably getting their brains fucked out or puking on college campuses you tell yourself, and you are only left with the boring and uninteresting girls you grew up with. Nothing gives young men a hard on faster than remembering what Gina or Tammy looked like 4 years ago with mosquito bites for tits, braces, zits, and a mustache. If you're in a deep committed relationship, 4 in 265 high school students are according to a recent poll, you'll get tickets for the big event and have a wonderful night and it'll be a great photo op for you and your girl's parents. Make sure to get the 12 wallet sized pics deal when they take your photo at the prom, too! You are probably going to get layed pretty well for all your effort, time, and energy. If you aren't in a committed relationship, you can A) Find a friend who is also sexually neutral to the opposite sex like you are to attend prom with, B) Call your grandmother to see if she's doing anything that night C)Go by yourself and look like a big penis as you try to grin and give thumbs up to other guys, who actually had the balls to land a girl, while they're slow dancing D) Spend the night repeating what you did when you weren't in the right grade to attend prom except this time you'll listen to the rest of Pearl Jam's "Ten" Cd. Most of the male students course of action will be D). For female students who didn't go, they'll just cry and go to bed. The night will end for a heroic few in hotel room beds, others will wave good-bye to their the limo driver in their rented corny ass attempt to look like James Bond suits a.k.a. tuxedos, along with the money they pissed away on a coursage, food that couldn't compete with stuff found in a McDonald's dumpster, and their manhood. They are now complete chodes for buying into women's sick delusional fantasies brought to life, which came about the first time a girl put a Barbie and a Ken doll together. But at least they have their memories that will last two weeks. Others, the ones with brains, like me, will be smart enough to avoid the whole fiasco all together and will go to work or do what they normally do when they aren't in school. That small group with their vision toward the future and what it'll bring, and their heads out of their asses, will graduate and be successful in real life. I was told by fat ass old ladies resembling trolls at the job I had in high school that I'd regret not going to my prom when I got older. Yeah, go smoke more crack and keep listening to Oprah. Save yourself, go to a wedding reception with your boyfriend or girlfriend and get the same experience without the pressure of having to dress up like a tool, and having your date stolen... and you’ll probably get layed this time. Plus, you can actually drink.