Blind man's bluff
A retributive procedure for avenging one's girlfriend's frigidity of the previous night involving a rather cruel artifice (note - artifice, not oriface, although it is quite possible that her orifaces may well have been cruel, hence the ease of confusion). Procedure - the perpetrator must make sure that he awakens in the morning before the victim. Like a secret sex-ninja he must have a silent wraith-wank, being careful to ensure that any bed wobbling does not awaken the victim. After his sausage-basting reaches climax, he must dab a finger tip in the resulting cheddar-puddle and rub a sufficient amount of his monkey-spunk along the closed edges of the victim's eyelids, making sure that the eyelashes have a sufficient glazing of knob-gloop so as to become intractably stuck to one another. After pausing to allow for drying and cementation, the perpetrator lights a few matches and blows them out quickly, allowing some of the thick smoke to drift into the victim's nostrils. After she begins to stir at the noxious smell wafting into her alternative nasal cock tunnels, the perpetrator must shout, as loudly and as anxiously as possible, "FIRE, FIRE... THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.. YOU ARE ON FIRE!"
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Cole M. got me one for my birthday, fastest sex ever
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
The price was a little expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
Great mug got one for my highschool crush
I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.
Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!
Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂
Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.
I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again
Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.
Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire
Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.
Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!
Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex
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