Target

A store designed by a group of idiots who are apparently infatuated with the color red & live by the motto "Fast, Fun, & Friendly". Employees don't know each other's names unless they read nametags, yet they are considered to be "Team Members". Turning 18 means nothing to Target if you're still in high school- except that now you are eligible to get a Goddamn motherfucking Red Card & save an additional fucking 10%. No, you can't work more hours during the week. Minors may NOT exceed 3 hours & 45 minutes Monday-Friday or else one of the LOD's, or HR, will have a talk with you about legalities. (you're supposed to care) GSTL's make people feel smart since they are by far the dumbest people in the world. People in food are disgusting LOD's get to talk at the morning, midday, & evening huddles. This makes them important. The boys in electronics think they are studly & whoever has the keys to the X-Box games is really cool. The operator is always a half-wit broad who doodles her boyfriend's name in between phone calls. Guest Attendants.. (AKA CART BOYS) are stoners who just need some fresh air & free water. AP/Hardlines 4 is a group of men who are either rent-a-cops, wannabe po-po's, or ex-security guards from some unknown company. Sometimes if you get lucky, you'll get an AP team leader (yup, leader, it's religious) who used to be in the army. Apparently shooting towel heads is comparable to catching people steal Modern Home towels? Target team members need to understand that breaks are 15 minutes, NOT 16 & lunch breaks are 45 minutes, not 44. Another legality.(pretend to care) Employees are not allowed to call in sick without being talked about. EMPLOYEES ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN TO DRINK WATER OR ANY OTHER BEVERAGE ON THE JOB UNLESS THEY HAVE A DOCTOR'S NOTE. Customers are referred to as "Guests" & are the rudest people in the world. They leave their carts everywhere in the store & will whine until Guest Service calls every local Target in search of their Mossimo sweater. THE ACTORS IN THE TARGET COMMERCIALS WILL BE GETTING PAID MORE THAN YOU DO FOR JUST SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES WITH AN UGLY DOG NAMED SPOT.. WHILE YOU MUST MEMORIZE CODE RED, GREEN, YELLOW. HOW'S YOUR SISTER L.I.S.A? HOW IS B.O.B DOING? If you work at Target you are brainwashed to believe you are above Wal Mart & if you go within 1 mile of a Wal Mart you eye should start twitching. If it doesn't then you need to spend some more time reviewing the employee handbook.