albert patrick college Mug
The story of Albert Patrick is most certainly one that belongs in the history books of every eighth grader in this great nation—not because it’s very important but because it perfectly encapsulates the true nature of America. It’s a story of crooked Jewish lawyers paying scumbag valets to poison the living shit out of rich white men. It’s a story of heavily racist trials and the crooked American judicial system that, at the same time, points out how American privilege can get you out of any sticky situation. It’s a story of a prestigious American university teetering in the balance between the forces of good, evil, and something in between. Basically William Marsh Rice was this rich white guy who amassed a fortune (probably clubbing seals and black people with his famed pimp cane). Towards the end of his life he became so worthless and decrepit that his hooknosed lawyer, Albert Patrick, hatched a pretty awful scheme to make off with Rice’s fortune. The idea was to alter Rice’s will which, at the time, earmarked his entire estate to the creation of a educational institution in Houston, Texas, that would teach young white males to club seals and African Americans. Allegedly Patrick asked Rice’s valet to pull a Sixth Sense and poison Rice slowly and surely. The slowly and surely thing didn’t work out so the valet just sort of chloroformed Rice to death one night. Smooth move. A trial ensued thanks to that meddling Captain James Baker. Basically, it was a slam-dunk trial against a Jew in early 1900’s New York, dooming Patrick from the start. It was also one of the most publicized trials of the century, up until the OJ Simpson case. Apparently, America loves ethnicities committing atrocities. AP got his parole opportunity several years later, got the charges against him dropped, after which he moved to the inland United States and—I’m not making this shit up—helped to found a church. Fast forward and Rice University is now standing. There’s a residential college—Will Rice College—and there’s a new dorm section that actually points away from the main quad. We’re going to call that the 80’s and the 90’s These rooms are also known as Albert Patrick College, so I’m told but God knows whose idea that was. Traditionally these rooms “break off” from WRC at some point during the spring and throw a party.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Quick turnaround time and good quality merchandise.
very cool kanye for me gave it to my crush and now were dating so yea
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
I loved it! Excellent quality!
I received the mug as a gift from a friend with whom I exchange "Weekaversary" eMails. I love the concept but am wondering why "aniversary" is spelled with only one "n?"
Wish it had the example text as well, but I loved it anyway
It’s great to be able to create your own mug.
My name is is Geet and literally this is literally a gem of a souvenir to have with me XD.
I love to put my lips on this in the morning