Jizzlam
A loosely codified lifestyle that focuses on effective, ethical, ritualistic masturbation and sex. It could be interpreted as a religion. Developed by a Grand Master Baiter known as Sigma Card as he’s spent thousands of hours chronically gooning to keep his mind clear. Holy texts include a bunch of bizarre sex fanfictions (A sort of goon bible if you will) written in Minecraft servers, porn memes, images shared from e622, definitions on Urban Dictionary, and sex memes. There’s an oral law called the Jelqmud that only goonabbis can interpret. Commandments of Jizzlam: -Thou shalt not munt. -Don’t goon or eat the cum of anyone besides your Jerkmate. -You may goon competitively any time but you cannot nut in November. -Do not waste your cum, if you’re going to spill seed then save it in a jar for future use such as a sperm bank deposit or an ingredient in cheese. -Do not goon the uncircumcised or with men who can’t get hard.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
got one for Cole M.'s mother, she loved it! Best mediocrely- timed sex ever!!!
The mug is beautiful and I love it! Thank you for having a handle large enough for a man to hold onto! ♥️
Mug printed nicely. Great gift idea.
Really great! Your custom mugs are amazing and hilarious
lit af my name is Frey and the def isnt true but its so great
Cole M. got me one for my birthday, fastest sex ever
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
The price was a little expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
Great mug got one for my highschool crush
I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.
Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!
Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂
Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.
I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again
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