donner

Donner (also donner kebab, donner meat) is a 'meat' served in take-aways across the United Kingdom. It is often characterised by the image of a large slab of unrecognisable greasey brown meat turning slowly on a heated grill, often accompanied by a pair of large sweating onions. The reasoning behind it's name is unknown, but it is thought that the term 'Donner' is of greek descent, but it's meaning remains a mystery. Others believe that it got it's name from the first ever batch created, which was by a cannibalistic man who mudered his wife (donna) and turned her into a kebab. Donner meat is a firm favourite with the drunken hoards which amass from various student bars after closing time, for example 'Footage'. Due to it's appealing low price and easy dispensation it goes down well in such situations. The favoured venue for the consumption of this urban delicacy is Abduls. Abduls is a kebab house of legendary status and those who ever visit Manchester must experience the grandure and largesse of this eatery and the finery of it's cuisine. Although the chemical and genetic make-up of the 'Donner Meat' itself is a mystery to modern man, further studies have shown that it actually does contain meat. The thought ingredients of donner meat are shown below; - Lamb (processed from reformed cuts of low grade meat, possibly including offal) - Chicken (see Lamb) - Dog (mainly previous RSPCA animals) - Pigeon (of the city centre variety) - Rat (of the sewer variety) - Sawdust (often pine) - Bone Chippings (possibly from meat or possibly from unfortunate slaughterhouse staff members) Donner meat is proven to provide absolutely no nutritional value what so ever. It is recommended that you eat it with caution as it contains a lethally high dosage of saturated fat, salt, and other toxic substances. Trials have shown that obsessive consumption of donner meat with accompanying alcoholic beverages can cause devastating effects to any mortal being.