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Jehovah's Witnesses

The Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult offshoot of the Millerite movement in the late 1800's. Founded by a known con man named Russell who used the "religion" as a scam to sell products such as "miracle wheat." They originally taught that the world would end in 1874. When that date came and went the teaching became that Jesus had returned to earth to begin ruling in 1874 and that the world would now end in 1914! Many "proofs" were offered to back up that date. Most were completely idiotic the measurements of the pyramids and the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem in 606 pop to mind! However they were caught out again when 1914 came and went! So once again things had to change! Around that time a drunken adulterer actually seized control in a hostile takeover by buying out the stock of the religion and having the original "council" thrown off the Brooklyn property by the police! This self-appointed "judge" is largely responsible for the religion we know today as "Jehovah's Witnesses" (although many of their core doctrines have changed and indeed continue to change!) It was he who banned all outside celebrations birthday, Christmas, Easter etc... He did this on the weakest of possible grounds, inaccuracies and twisting of scripture. His goal was to completely alienate the witnesses from the general population. Make them feel different, better, special, a trick used by many cults today and throughout history. It’s a practice that witnesses still continue to this day! He changed the dates again, saying now that Jesus had returned to power in 1914 the end was in 1918, then 1925 then 1935, by then the 1874 dates and stranger beliefs were being downplayed and ignored! After all these failed dates they were loosing members rapidly even with the new ā€œpreaching workā€ they were rapidly failing the ā€œWitnessesā€ looked like they would soon become nothing more than a historical footnote! Around then ā€œthe judgeā€ came up with a theory about the ā€œgenerationā€ of 1914 and the ā€œgenerationā€ that Jesus spoke of! He came up with a slick new campaign spearheaded by a public lecture and a book called ā€œMillions now living will NEVER dieā€ He said that the generation that saw the end of 1914 would be the same generation that saw the end of this wicked world! Thousands of witnesses quit their jobs sold their homes and belongings and hit the streets to preach this imminent destruction! The ā€œjudgeā€ also organized an extremely ā€œin your faceā€ preaching style which was intended to start riots, beatings, and fights. He did this so that he could then take his new ā€œreligionā€ into the courtroom and gain publicity for his ā€œDevine work.ā€ The judge was an unabashed publicity hound! He had built a large mansion in California where he lived with his mistress and several other female attendants he encouraged others to sell all and preach while he lived in luxury and drove two 16 cylinder Cadillac’s! Of course like all of their foolish prophecy the generation teaching also failed to come about and in 1995 the slogan and ā€œgeneration teachingā€ was dropped. Many elderly witnesses are now living in poverty with no retirement or savings due to the fact that the end was so near… It’s very sad when you think about it! This is a big trick of witnesses even today they change their beliefs CONSTANTLY and when deny that they ever believed differently! Some simple examples include the prophetic date for Jerusalem's fall (first 606 then someone pointed out that the year 0 was actually not a year, rather than admit that they were wrong they simply changed the historic date of the fall to 607??? WTF! This despite the fact that there are over 10,000 stone manuscripts from that time that date the fall to 587, which also agrees with a biblical time line!) Changing prophecy, 1874,1914,1918,1925,1935,1975 etc... The ever-changing medical policies, no organ transplants (thousands died from refusing) then in the 1970's suddenly that was ok... So sorry that you had to die! Then no blood or blood fractions, thousands died and thousands continue to die. Now blood fractions are fine but no whole blood (in fact if you add up all the allowed blood fractions it's nearly 94% of blood can be taken just not all at once...) you can eat a burger patty and lettuce, and pickle and a bun but if you put it all together god will kill you... This despite the clear fact that taking blood is not the same as eating blood and the penalty for eating blood in the bible was to 'be unclean until the evening' wasn't even a major sin! This group is really fucked up! All of this garbage has been disproved so thoroughly that any unbiased person would simply laugh at these guys which is why their number are now on the decline in every single industrialized nation. Although they do still enjoy growth in third world nations! By and large they are a failing religion, held onto by fanatics who simply won’t admit that they have given their lives to a publishing company… If you know any witnesses give them a hug they are having some hard times!

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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