throne vs. phone Mug
That infuriating and mysterious battle between two common household objects --- both made of white porcelain --- which causes untold headaches, especially if there's only one person in the house at the time. You know the drill --- the telephone can be "silent" for hours, yet as soon as you plop down on the toilet and are in the middle of a lengthy crap, THAT'S precisely when the 0%!$&#@ phone decides to ring, and so you have to awkwardly jam a tissue-wad up your butt and hold it there while you penguin-strut with your trousers down around your ankles all the way across the living room to grab the receiver with your messy hand, only to either (1) have the caller hang up just as you are lifting the receiver, or (2) have it be just either a telemarketer or a bill-collector who'd dialed the wrong number, anyway, or (3) have the caller be a bored/crybaby/mooching neighbor who had nothing important to say/ask, but just called to shoot the breeze, whine about his miserable life (which he could easily improve if he'd just start being more responsible/diligent), or ask for a ride, assistance with some ordinary task that he really could accomplish himself, or the loan of money/a vehicle/tools. So you'll have totally wasted your time/effort --- not to mention half a bottle of Lysol to disinfect the phone afterwards --- to answer the phone that time, when the call turned out to be non-urgent and so you could have just let the answering machine take it.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother