Smarmy Guy

Latin Name: Homo Smarmus Typically found inhabiting Eastern North America, the Homo Smarmus is a rare and distinct individual. They tend to favor indoor habitats where microwavable meals, XBox, and online chatrooms denouncing the intelligence of others are near at hand. Physical Appearance: A material covering with a striped pattern (Scientists currently studying Homo Smarmus are developing a theory which states that this might be some form of tribal garb) usually coloured green and poo-brown is essential. The left forelimb is permanently extended upwards, and shoulders hunched. A unique grunt is the natural call of the Homo Smarmus. One might liken it to a cough, when broken down it sounds like "Ahhh-hack-hack-hack-hack-ughhh". However, while it is found loud and irritating to those near to the Homo Smarmus, it does not travel well, making it difficult for one Homo Smarmus to warn others about the presence of someone who has a low bullshit tolerance. Those who have studied this species closely advise others to keep their distance as there may be longterm side effects which could potentially lead to: sensitivity of eyes to light stunting of growth (in children) swelling of feet or lower legs vomiting headache muscle cramps hallucinations mental depression mood swings skin rash or hives hiccups wounds that will not heal increased sweating indigestion Please also note that these side effects are similar to those of IBD.