Bonnaroo

A festival in celebration of white middle-class entitlement disguised as a conglomeration of (ironically) "cutting edge folk music". Peer-reviewed science journals have roundly agreed that the music is best classified as "a cross between bovine excretia and some 20 year olds banging on their mother's pots and pans with the black dido she slept with inside her cavernous fart hole". The name "Bonnaroo" is coined from Bono (of U2 fame) and kangaroo. When Bono found a wild wallaby in the jungles of Tennessee, their eyes locked in electric lust and they instantly clambered into the 69 position and proceeded to tongue-feast each other's flaky, yeasty, swollen vaginas. Bono, in his trademark idiocy, told the wallaby upon satisfactory completion: "I will remember our love forever, kangaroo man". To which, replied the wallaby: "Your pussy crumbs make my mustache itch. Nice sunglasses, dickhole". Bonnaroo is celebrated on the exact site in which Bono rammed 2 twigs up his ass in an effort to create a campfire via friction, but only succeeded in igniting the copious amounts of reeking intestinal gas that he has for years released at a controlled rate through his mouth in an exercise he called "singing". Bono thusly launched himself into space, and in celebration, mankind has joyously listened to equally shit music on that spot.