Urban Dictionary Tees

Birthday Brother: A male who shares the same birthday as you. You were born on the same day of the same year. Even though you are not true brothers, this is a significantly close bond See also Birthday Sister

Rebound Job: A job you take knowing that it isn't long term. Often due to an emergency situation where you know your losing your current job. It provides a paycheck while you take your time looking for a better job.

Football Minute: When someone asks for a minute to do something, even though they know it will take much longer than 60 seconds.

Concert Resume: n. A complete and comprehensive list of concerts that one has attended. Often casual conversation between fellow concert goers.

As You Know: A derogatory prepatory statement in a sentence used when telling someone something they should already know, but, in fact the author knows they do not.

elevator reflex: The urge people get once inside an elevator to stare compulsively at the ascending numbered lights (usually on top of the elevator doors) either because they are truly convinced this will speed up the whole 'process' or they are simply socially-awkward beings who can't bear to look at random people in the face for 30 seconds.

junk shot: An attempt to stop a hole or leak by filling it with trash.

one cheek bench sneak: The easing out of flatulency gently, usually when sitting down, so as not to attract undue attention.

intexticated: Describes people who drive while sending text messages on their phones.

Airplane Talker: 1. A person who stands within the confines of your personal space bubble (causing extreme discomfort) to hold an ordinary conversation, like someone sitting next to you on an airplane would. 2. A person who speaks louder than the current conversation calls for, as if they are trying to talk over a plane's engines.

Papal Pound: When at Church giving thanks, instead of shaking the person's hand, you give them a fist pound instead.

lost buddy: A friend who may not be your best friend, but is there for you when you get your weekly suicidal and depressive thoughts because you receive no answers to the questions on the TV show, Lost. He or she may be watching it with you or texting, and receiving equally as much aid to prevent violence to them or their loved ones. On the friend chain, they are most important to you than family or your bff during Lost.

sticker shock: A condition resulting from seeing the total price of a bunch of items and realizing the damage is much greater than you originally expected. May cause a person to have second thoughts about the purchase.

shoot the shit: To chat idly about things that neither person involved in the conversation will be likely to remember.

Girlfriend-proof: v. To hide any objects that you would rather your girlfriend not see. These objects usually include porn, childish things (dolls, small toys, etc), and Pokemon memoribilia. You can girlfriend-proof your car, room, house, and really just about anything. Similar to parent-proof

Drunken Immunity: Complete disregard on the part of a friend, girlfriend or ex-girlfriend for any minor stupid thing you said or did while drunk (i.e. drunk texting, drunk calling, drunken Facebook status updates, drunken confession, ETC).

pretext: Verb, portmanteau - To pretend to text someone or reply to someone's text message to avoid awkward situations. This happens most often when talking to someone you don't really know or when you don't want to look weird while waiting for the bus.

CUL8R: In order to save time (like 4 seconds, tops) people leave out letters while trying to type sentences. CUL8R directly translates to 'see you later'

sea kittens: An attempt by PETA to convince the general public to call fish by a name too cute to eat.

and then I found five dollars: a phrase used at the end of a story that had really no point to be told to someone. used at the end of boring stories to make them seem more interesting and worthwhile.

Coitus Hiatus: To have a break from sex, derived from the two words coitus and hiatus.

Citation Needed: A disclaimer for any time you quote something from Wikipedia as fact. Acknowledges that it isn't the world's most "reliable" source, but it's still good enough for you to use.

Textual Satisfaction: The feeling you get when your phone has a new message/missed call.

stock douche: The guy that just happens to own every stock that ever takes off. A self-proclaimed Warren Buffet.

mom mom: A grandmother. Also known as the mother of your parents.

whatever lifts your luggage: Synonymous with "whatever floats your boat."

fat finger: verb, the act of performing a typo. Often used when referring to password typos. See Fat Finger Disease

amirite: Am I right?