Urban Dictionary Tees

Lap Hog: A large penis

grass ceiling: The barrier to further promotion in a business defined by a person's inability to play golf.

peter out: 1) To lose intensity or dwindle in strength. 2) An exposed penis (peter).

drive it like you stole it: Drive fast; drive as if you stole the car and the police are after you.

poliitical schadenfreude: The pleasure experienced when a member of an opposed political party is experiencing embarassment or disfunction.

Gangnam Style: "Gangnam Style" is a Korean neologism mainly associated with upscale fashion and lavish lifestyle associated with trendsetters in Seoul’s Gangnam district (강남), which is considered the most affluent part of the metropolitan area. In colloquial usage, it is comparable to the English slang terms “swag” or “yolo”.

Lonelybooking: Adding status updates to Facebook, constantly, because no one is paying attention to one. Also, being alone in one's room in a house full of people, feeling lonely, and appealing to Facebook to feel validated.

fuck you pay me: Reply to a dispute of debt. Common gangsta mantra. Meant to express the non-negotiability of debt.

pawdicure: Trimming a dog or cats nails.

JetBlue Balls: When you fly somewhere for a girl and get rejected.

poindextrous: To be able to communicate equally well with both nerds and normal people alike.

Lb's: Pounds or fat, (lb) is the symbol for pounds.

Japan: The country with the world's best toilets.

wowthritis: The gnarled shape of your hands and arms after playing several hours and/or days of World of Warcraft. This condition usually results in sore joints and numbness.

point of no return: when someone is so close to orgasm that he or she cannot stop having sex/masturbating, regardless of the circumstances

laugh: A smile having an orgasm.

Reverse Cock Block: A repulsive individual that you typically encounter at a night club that makes aggressive advances towards unwilling women. As a result, the girls start clinging to you, and leads to a hook up.

Landmass: The area of land between New Orleans and Mobile, as referenced during Hurricane Isaac coverage by The Weather Channel. Also known as Mississippi.

Scroll Shock: Verb. When casually browsing a web page and scrolling down you come across a picture that you had no intention or want to view.

Bed Browsing: Similar to Web Browsing, but done from the comfort of your bed.

Yard bomb: A pile of dog crap that isn't picked up by its owner and is instead left to be stepped in.

digital snow day: Refers to a work day interrupted by an internet outage that effectively shuts down all productivity, especially at a .com.

it's your birthday: A term of encouragement often used to drunkenly encourage equally intoxicated acquaintances. Rarely used on the subject of encouragement's actual birthdate. Commonly preceeded by "Go (name)" and occasionally followed by, "no it's not, go anyway" when spoken by those in the 8-13 year old age bracket (who are hopefully not drunk).

lance armstrong: A man who can do more with one testicle than most could do with a pair.

Old White Man: A politician or other wealthy person with influence. Called such because the vast majority of politicians and powerful people in the USA are old, white men.

what happens in vegas: Usually followed by 'stays in Vegas' - the details events of a weekend or short amount of time a person spent out of town are suppressed. The term would usually refer to someone going by themselves or with friends for a weekend in Las Vegas, Nevada, but you could apply it to another city/town if the other person knew what you were referring to.

ego waffles: waffles made out of ego which are consumed by narcissistic people in order to sustain a delicate ego

derp: A simple, undefined reply when an ignorant comment or action is made. Brought to life in the South Park series, when Mr. Derp made a guest apperance at South Park Elementary as the chef for a day, followed by hitting himself in the head with a hammer and exclaiming "Derp!"