Urban Dictionary Tees

Masturbathe: To pleasure oneself sexually whilst washing or immersing one's body in water.

almost-quaintance: A person to whom one has at one point sent a successful social networking friends request or from whom one has accepted such request.

pizza regret: The feeling after spending a lot of money on a lot of takeout food and realising afterwards that it wasn't a good idea.

Illegal Gymagrant: A person who refuses to pay dues for a gym membership or sneaks into a gym for a workout without paying. An illegal gymagrant often convinces gym managers that they are going to "test out the gym" prior to signing up for an official membership where they have to pay.

Emotionap: Being too emotional, that eventually as a result, you fall asleep.

textretary: A person's sidekick who texts for the driver.

Drivestep: noun. Dubstep that makes for great driving music.

Turn Up: (v) getting wild or excessively crazy. Typically used in the context of a party. It is normally followed by a prepositional phrase (For the party, In that place, On that hoe) and it is often used in the past tense (turned up). "Turning up" is almost never said. As far as I can tell, it is the 2011 equivalent of what Getting Crunk was in the early 2k's and late 90's.

Nocializing: The act of being out in a social public setting (i.e. Restaurant, Cocktail Bar, Coffee shop) and only spending time on your mobile device; not the people with or around you.

lane splitting: Riding a motorcycle between two traffic lanes between cars.

Food Herp: The spreading of a craving/desire for a specific food or restaurant from person to person. Usually spread almost instantaneously after leaving someone's mouth.

Wub one out: Cover the sound of masturbation by playing loud, shitty dubstep.

navel gazing: A pejorative term used to describe someone who is preoccupied with self-reflection and the understanding of oneself; preoccupation with attempts at understanding the psychological and/or existential meaning of the self.

Porno elbow: An medical variant of the condition known as 'tennis elbow' primarily affecting the dominant arm of hyperactive males who don't play tennis.

greeting orbit: When you're with someone and run into an acquaintance of his/hers. They exchange greetings, which leads to a conversation, and you stand there smiling like a dummy wondering if you'll ever be introduced.

Nuts to Butts: adjective: used in a very crowded or tight situation.

homemade word: Those words invented at home, and used in the family but don't have a meaning outside of the family or friendship group

Interpretive Dunce: This person has no skill at dancing, yet will try to auto-choreograph their unholy movements to the lyrics of the song being played, often with a delay as they can't remember the lyrics, and have to come up with something on the fly as they hear it.

Bropocalypse: A large gathering of bros on a mission to do one thing, to get bombed, tanked, or wasted usually ending in some people doing something stupid.

Piss Angle: Piss angle is an intense math calculation that dudes use when trying not to get back-sprayed while pissing into a urinal. Pissing against the back wall of the urinal at a 90 degree angle will cause extreme backspray. Thus, a man must strategically place his piss stream onto the side wall of the urinal, prefferably at less than 20 degrees to prevent getting back-sprayed.

Deep Bro Talk: A serious talk between two close male friends, in which they talk about all the things going on in their life at the moment. Deep bro talks are sacred meetings, and all the things discussed during them cannot be told to anyone else without the other's consent.

Book hangover: When you've finished a book and you suddenly return to the real world, but the real world feels incomplete or surreal because you're still living in the world of the book.

Designated Imbiber: An individual who is assigned the task of drinking for other people because they are driving, pregnant, or have to get up early the next morning.

decafate: The act of purging after drinking coffee, anally or otherwise.

Irish Layover: When you miss your flight from being too hungover or too drunk.

Comment-Message: When someone types what should have been a message or email in a comment on a public board (example: facebook).

close enough for government work: A phrase used to describe the quality of work difference of that of private enterprise and the government.

friend jack: When someone who is new to a social circle ends up becoming more important and loved in that group than the person who introduced them to said circle. Often times, the 'introducer' actually ends up getting kicked out of the group through a gradual phasing out. Most times friend jacking is the result of some inherent character flaw of the person who has been kicked out of the group.