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Vapour Lock Tee

The primary cause of snoring in men. When a man lies on his back to sleep, his balls drop over his arsehole, blocking the main south vent and causing vapour lock. The resultant build-up of burps, farts, heavy exhalation fractions, digestive fumes, beer gas, and weed smoke, then has to be vented to atmosphere by alternative means, which requires his gut gremlins to re-route the gases being expelled back through the primary inhalation channel. Fortunately this is possible because the exhaust gases, being warmer than the incoming air, rise to the upper half of the esophaegus, and the two vapour streams are able to pass each other going opposite directions in the same pipe. The actual sound of snoring is comprised of millions of tiny gas molecule voices shouting at each other on the way past. The incoming ones are shouting "Oo, poo, you stink," or variations thereof, and the outgoing ones are calling back "fuck you Pinky, you don't know shit and you're gonna get fisted." Snoring can be avoided completely by the judicious use of a suitable testicle rest which keeps the butthole uncovered and open. Naturally however this means that a man employing such a device tends to fart more in his sleep. Women don't like us snoring, but they whinge and moan about the alternative as well. This is because they are essentially moaning bitches with penis envy and were born unhappy, but we still love them.

Mug Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase

good very good worth money!

me May 9

5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious

Ayoush smith May 7

10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again

Some dude May 1

Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.

Vince B. Apr 28
✓ Verified Purchase

gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made

the gooderesting Apr 26

Got it for a friend! He loved it

Roger M. Apr 20
✓ Verified Purchase

Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.

Phoenix S. Apr 18
✓ Verified Purchase

mine says "ass" on it lol

me Apr 13

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana Apr 6

My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B. Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s. Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay Mar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W. Mar 26

Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!

William Mar 19

Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡

💆🏻‍♀️琴 Mar 8

The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂

Rhiannon K. Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.

Eric T. Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition

The person nobody knows Mar 5
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