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Toms River

'Suburban' town with a population of about 90,000. Don't ask me how THAT works out... Home of like... 11 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools. Intermediate North is still West to us, and nobody likes Intermediate South because now we have the effing 6th graders. Anyway. We don't go 'down the shore' because we are ON the shore. We go to the beach aka. Seaside Heights, which is always a great place to get into a fight. Goddamn fucking bennies come here from New York and crowd to our beaches, then ask for directions.. and they wonder why they end up 10 miles from where they wanted to be. The term 'tommies' originates from a person who lives here. Everyone knows your name because there is at least one person talking shit behind your back at all times. After the movies, you only go to the mall across the street to get stoned. The mall is where you go BEFORE a fight. Then you cross the street to the movies.. and fight. At HS North, you will run into stoners. Frequently. Because everyone knows that High School North is actually called 'Heroin High.' We have a big rock, too. Did you know that? Toms River is also known for the Little League World Cup or whatever that we won a few years back. The best place to get stoned is right across the street from a police station. I'm talking about Castle Park, you know. Just down the road from this police station is Heroin High. Yeah. We like risk. Our mall is just called the Ocean County Mall because Toms River is one of the bigger cities in Ocean County. Doesn't mean the mall is of any decency.. I mean.. the only good parts are the emo kids, stoners, and getting into fights. People at North are only 'Made' because North is the most popular HS. Nobody would care if someone from the other two were Made. People here in general are only made because MTV made Seaside Heights their summer home for a couple of years... and everyone knows that Seaside is actually not a seperate town. Here, we consider Seaside a PART of Toms River. Kinda like Silverton. Or Silverhood, if you want. But you have to cross a bridge to get to Seaside. We have Wawas. EVERYWHERE. Applebee's is the place to be after a dance. So much so, that you are not allowed to be there after a dance at Intermediate East. Houses here sell for about 300,000. Without property. Oh yeah. Our tap water causes cancer. But don't tell that to the bennies.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

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ThIs is perfect

Leart M.Nov 16

Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.

Andstubbedmytoe D.Nov 12

This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.

Zachary L.Nov 10
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My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.

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Review by Gabe L.

Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!

Gabe L.Nov 8
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The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.

Bobby L.Nov 7
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Review by Am R.

Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.

Am R.Nov 5
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My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.

Bobby L.Oct 30
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This looks like a weird design but it looks cool

AidenOct 30

This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.

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Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!

Joan D.Oct 25

I love it I bought me and my family some

Kirk J.Oct 20

Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>

Jamie M.Oct 16

Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...

cynthiaOct 13

Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.

DeeOct 13

Another hit!

John E.Sep 25
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Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻

Beren S.Sep 24
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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S.Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E.Sep 5
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Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J.Sep 2
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Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!

T-shirt measurements

A - Length

Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem

B - Width

Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit

Size Chart

SizeLengthWidth
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
SizeLengthWidth
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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