Sorostitute Tee

I am a sorostitute. I'm better than you and I know it. You can find me on campus in the SUV my daddy bought for me, rocking my Chanel sunglasses, North Face jacket, Nike Shox or Rainbow sandals. I never leave my sorority house without my letters somewhere on me. I date a fratdaddy. I don't care that he cheats on me with other sorostitutes because I cheat on him too. I take him to date parties and sorority events just to end up flirting with one of his frat brothers. I don't have a major. I take the easiest core classes I can find and do minimal amounts of work. I know that my degree won't matter anyway because I'm going to end up a trophy wife. I love Greek life and hate GDIs. I laugh at them with my sisters when we go out to the bars. I go out to the bars and drink not only on weekends, but on Wednesdays and Thursdays too. I sing loudly with the songs at the bars and I don't care if people stare; I know its just because they're jealous. I spread rumors about other sororities on my campus. I call them sluts and cokeheads when in reality I know of several girls in my own house that do coke and sleep with tons of frat boys. Rush is the most important week of my life. I spend a week talking to girls who I would want wearing my letters. I ignore the girls rushing who are ugly and fat. After we choose the group of pledges I haze them physically and emotionally. I yell at them and make them cry, I take them to frat houses and make them do embarassing things. After that, I will call them my sisters. Looks are all that matters to me. I spent money that was supposed to be for books on tanning and manicures. I have had plastic surgery. I'm always well dressed. I pop my collar and all of my handbags- my Louis, my Kate Spade, my Prada- are real. If I look like this, frat boys will want me and other sororities will be jealous. I look better than you, I act better than you, I AM better than you. I'm a sorostitute.