Pittsburgh Tee

A crappy old city located between some dirty rivers (which often have cars or bodies in them). Pissburgh basically is full of rednecks (ever hear the saying "Pennsylvania: Philadelphia on one side, Alabama on the other"). Pissburgh is full of racists too. Everyone in the city claims to have such huge pride in their city but they don't. That is why Iron City went out of business (because everyone is cheap and just drinks Miller Lite, which is a hypocricy in itself because everyone is racist and Miller Lite donates to the Negro College Fund). That is also why the Penguins might leave town (Pissburghers don't like hockey too much becaues it is too complicated of a sport to get drunk and watch, and also cause the Penguins never play defense). Pissburgh claims to be a big drinking town but in reality no one here can handle their liquor, which is why Pissburgh is one of the leading DUI cities in the country. Pissburgh has no good job opportunities. Pissburgh claims to have their own language (yinz, n'at) but in reality NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT except when they do it on purpose. Pissburghers want to have their own identity SO MUCH but whether they like it or not Pissburgh is a below average run of the mill city. For example, people think when you get a sandwich with french fries on it that is called ordering it "Pittsburgh style" but in reality NOBODY who doesn't live in Pittsburgh has ever heard of that. Pissburgh was rated one of the worst cities for singles, and it certainly is. All the girls are ugly and all the guys are uneducated rednecks. Pissburgh's number one radio station is KISS FM, which is basically a bunch of retards singing over the music while it plays. During winter Pissburgh's roads are the worst, because there are about 2 salt trucks that drive around when they feel like it. Pissburgh is full of hypocrits. They blast Barry Bonds for using steroids every chance they get, but when the true subject that the Steelers used steroids in the 70s comes up, they turn their heads. Basically, Pissburgh is a second rate city full of idiots who wish they had their own culture and language but they simply do not.