Ohio

A Quick Listing of Rules to Learn About Ohio Before Y'all Visit Here: 1. Do not mispronounce our state name. It's "Ahia" or "Ohiuh" or "Ahio" or "Uh-hi-uh" or some variation of the forementioned (or sometimes, in the southeast, just plain "'hia"). It is NOT "Oh-high-oh". Just... no. This is the easiest way to tell if someone's from out of state. 2. Ohio is not all flat. If you think this is true then you've obviously avoided the entire eastern part of the state which is quite hilly, especially the southeastern part, being the edge of Appalachia. 3. We are better than Michigan in everything we do. Period. We have been brought up knowing and understanding this law (every Ohioan knows the song "We Don't Give a Damn For the Whole State of Michigan!" by age five); if you have the stupidity to yell, "I LOVE MICHIGAN!" in public then you will be mauled (except for maybe in Toledo, which might as well be in Michigan). 4. There are three different distinctive Ohio accents. These are: a. The Southeast accent: From Wilmington to Cambridge and below (basically south of I70 and east of I71)(especially prevalent along the West Virginia border). Commonly mistaken for a Southern accent. I once had a teacher from Chillicothe who would tell us to "'Collar' your pictures with crayons!" b. The Middle accent: From Cincinnati to Bellefontaine, then east to Coshocton. The median between a southern and a northern accent, commonly referred to as the typical, ideal American English accent. c. The Northern accent: From Lima to Dover and on up. Features the stereotypical midwestern twang (most northerners don't realize they have an accent, but they do). 5. We like our corn. Corn goes with everything. And we all know the saying, "Knee high by the fourth of July!" 6. We're the only ones allowed to insult our weather. Sure, we hate it, because it changes constantly. The only thing predictable about it is that it's sure to be UNpredictable! Winter weather in May and spring weather in January? Normal. However, if you come here and complain about this, we'll agree with you... then kick your ass. We're rather proud of our sucky weather. Come back with snow boots and a pair of shorts next time and suck it up like a man. 7. It's normal to sometimes receive change (primarily pennies) in the form of Canadian currency. Don't worry about it, you're still in America. 8. We think it's hilarious when you struggle to pronounce names like Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta, Cuyahoga, etc. 9. Yeah, we have a town called Hicksville. Get over it. Delaware is a city and a county, and Lima (pronounced LIE-ma) and Miami are in Ohio. 10. WE'RE STILL BETTER THAN MICHIGAN!!