Noel Tee

This is a name used to denote children that are exceptionally loud and stupid. The individual with this name will invariably try to use logic on people and will also invariably fail to make any sense at all. Contemplation of this individual's logic (or, rather, this individual's lack of logic) will often cause aneurysms, manifesting either in a nosebleed or, in many cases, an exploded head. This individual also often thinks that they are "God's gift to humanity," hence the name "Noel," which alludes to Christmas, a major religious holiday primarily observed through phony piety and the giving of gifts. The person named "Noel" will also think that it (used aptly, here) is so-called "hot stuff" and will assume that everyone (male, female, transgendered, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and pansexual) wants a "piece of that ass." It is, obviously mistaken. If a Noel is spotted, the best advice that can be given is to plug one's ears and then run away as quickly as possible before it can open its mouth and start talking. Its voice has properties very akin to those of the mythological mandrake plant. Do not be deceived, however, by this comparison. The Noel is an active, virulent lifeform able to leech life out of individuals through speech. Prolonged exposure can result in (aside from aneurysms) an individual or group of individuals brain or brains, respectively, leaking out of his/her/their ears. Avoid the Noel at all costs. Do not offer a Noel a cookie. Do not sleep with the Noel. If impregnated, she becomes nearly impossible to get rid of while still alive. The Noel is classified as living. If you are approached by one and do not immediately leave the area, you will not longer be similarly classifiable.