New Hampshire Tee

It's a state that is not located in England. FUN FACTS! State Location: New England. It's the one between Vermont and Maine. It is part of the United States of America. It is NOT in England, or any other part of Europe for that matter. You're thinking of Old Hampshire (or just Hampshire as those zany limey bastards call it). State Motto: "Live Free or Die." This motto was adopted by General John Stark (cousin of the better known Tony Stark) after viewing the film Live Free or Die Hard, which he described as "inspirational, patriotic, and brickshittingly hardcore" (the General had not seen the other films in the Die Hard series, and upon viewing them he died of blood loss after literally shitting a brick). The motto itself had to be trimmed down from Stark's original draft of "Live Free or Die Hard: The State" due to copyright issues. Nickname: "The Granite State." Contrary to popular belief, this motto has nothing to do with the production of granite, but refers to the material that the balls of New Hampshire natives are made of. State Bird: The mosquito. All jokes aside, New Hampshire mosquitos are literally the size of "an average schoolchild's head" and are classified by ornithologists as a member of the aves class. They usually have beards. The 2007 census placed mosquito related deaths (mostly maulings and decapitations) at 42,973 (second only to crossbow related deaths, see state weapon). State Flower: That blue one from Batman Begins that made people loose their shit. Remember that? Yeah, it was pretty awesome. State Tree: Marijuana. Don't really need to elaborate upon that one. State Fruit: Brian Hynes. You know who you are. State Food: Maple Syrup. State Weapon: Crossbow. I know this place where you can buy a crossbow for $21. We totally pierced concrete with it, no joke. State Movie: Live Free or Die Hard: Unrated (see state motto). State Song: Like a Rock by Bob Seger. State Color: Dying Tree Orange. State Adjective: "Quaint." State Adverb: "Wicked" as in "That maple syrup was wicked awesome!" State Method of Smoking Tobacco: Corn Cob Pipe. State Useless Invention: The Segway. That thing was invented in New Hampshire. I rode one once. It was alright I guess but nothing to write home about. State Tartan: green 56, black 2, green 2, black 12, white 2, black 12, purple 2, black 2, purple 8, red 6, purple 28. To be completely honest, I have no idea what this means, I just found it on Wikipedia. State Plaything: Slabs of Granite. State Hobby: Guanthag (a sport involving tossing large slabs of granite). State Jew: Sarah Silverman.