Middlesbrough Tee

A town in the north-east of England, situated on the river Tees, which is also the largest town in Europe, just because it hasn't been made into a city yet. Home of the smoggie, named after the ICI chemical plant and other industries which fill the air with pollution and make the sky turn brown in winter. Locals call both the town and the football team (Middlesbrough FC) "Boro", while outsiders misspell the town's name as MiddlesbOrough. There is a distinctive Teesside accent, distinguishable from Geordie, despite what the producers of Steel River Blues would like you to think. Landmarks include the Transporter Bridge, the largest aerial ferry in the world (though there are only about three), the Newport Bridge, and various monuments in and around the town to commemmorate Captain James Cook, the explorer who discovered Australia and was born in the local area. The inhabitants will be quick to complain about the virtual lack of any other famous monuments, and a dearth of celebrities. Other famous people from the town include (and are largely limited to): Kirsten O'Brien, the children's TV presenter; Paul Daniels, the magician; and a few footballers. Though not a very old, famous or prestigious town, residents realise its merits when they find out there are rarely gridlocks at rush hour, unlike most other towns and cities, despite the limitations of there only being two main roads into the town centre. This is possibly because everybody is so put off by the high rate of drug dealing, teenage pregnancy, poverty and other crime, that the town is rated by many to be the worst place to live in Britain, much to the delight of the suburbians and to the dismay of the town redevelopers. In development, the seemingly overly well-planned industrial estate has allowed many local businesses to flourish, and an ambitious redevelopment plan for Middlehaven, a brownfield site by the river, hopes to attract more businesses and money to the area. However, the plans have been ridiculed by non-residents and residents alike, for its suggestion of turning the place into a "Toy Town". The prospect of a casino, riverside apartments and a self-sufficient business community also detracts from Middlesbrough's industrial heritage and may not serve to redevelop the town effectively. In recent years, the town's location has somehow come into question. In very early times much of it was part of North Yorkshire, and then Langbargh/Cleveland/Teesside. Now, apparently none of these places exist, so there is no county and you have to look under 'Durham' or elsewhere to find the town in a directory. However, the area retains its TS postal area code. The telephone area code is 01642.