Grandfather Clock
The Grandfather Clock, also referred to as 'the Grandfather's Cock, is an intricate sexual act in which two men of roughly the same height suspend a woman of smaller stature upside down by her her ankles, swinging her back and forth onto each others erections like an erotic pendulum; the flesh hand of the world famous Grandfather Clock. With each 'swing of the clock', the woman of interest is penetrated from both the front and behind (commonly mistaken for a war on two fronts), alternating holes with each pleasurable sway. The partners in crime swinging the woman to and fro are each assigned a specific hole for their genitals to call home, depending on the directions of their erections, of course. The irony of this sexual act is that the participants will be so invested in reaching such a chronological level of ecstasy that their perception of time will fleet, and when they've finally finished, they'll realize that what felt like minutes of sensual fun was actually hours of tireless thrusting. The grandfather clock can make the best of the times out of the worst of times, but if executed improperly, it can make the best of times into an embarrassing trip to the emergency room (take it from me; I didn't know the penis could sprain until I fell victim to the grandfather clock's sensual wrath). While the clean up may be a disaster, it will have been well worth it afterwards; the benefits will come the second you do.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Exactly what I expected, thanks!
So cool to quickly be able to turn a trending phrase into wearable art!
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.
Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!
Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.
This looks like a weird design but it looks cool
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.
FUCK you urban dictionary.
hehe mine said skibidi
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |