Fratastic Tee

The utmost achievment of fraternal reverly, the paragon of college achievenment from a social standpoint. Only the dedicated few can attain such a quality, a quality evinced by throwing the fattest bone-chuck ragers where generator-powered mega-watt blacklights accompanied by L.E.D refracting party lights enable a club-like dance scene condusive to all interactions, giving even the squarest of dudes a chance to mingle. Qualities such as yelling frat incessantly accompanied by a 10-15 second chug from a handle, emphasizing that to be fratastic you must forgo buying a 5th of hard alcohol and without hesitation opt for a handle especially if the drinking party is under 5 persons. Drinking to lose all inhibition and awaking to an assortment of problems, including but not limited to: a half-eaten mustard sandwhich, jeans soaked with urine causing the phone left in your front pocket to be dysfunctional, comprehensive bruises and bodily damages, confusing an inner-city park bench for your room, and waking up to god knows who looking like god knows what. Slamzonied and shwapdizzled all prescribe to extremely high levels of intoxication necessary as a requisite to fratastic achievement. Depending on your geographical location, it may also be required to constantly divulge nonsensical sober rants about nothing, namely certain conditions that are indicitive to certain indiginous peoples of certain northermost regions in underdeveloped countries and continents. Other encourageable traits include referring to your instructor obnoxiously as prof. and constantly using movie quotes to reinforce humor especially with a loudspeaker so that all of your campus faculty can hear. This prolonged comprehensive summation of achieving fratastic ideaology is vital to the preservation of fratters world-wide, adhere to it with all of your might.