Edgar Acuña
Some doctors liken it to a tree trunk. Others to a length of anchor rope. And still others compare it to a barber's pole. Whatever it's true dimensions, Edgar Acuña is stuck with a gigantic penis, and science can't help him. Diagnosed with Phallumegaly (bigness of penis) at a young age, Edgar Acuña grew up without learning how to ride bike... without being able to play little league (protective cups are too small)... without being able to feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. And it looks as though he'll never be able to enjoy those everyday pleasures. Recently rejected for yet another risky penis reduction surgery, Edgar is lost. Medical professionals are afraid to operate on his Neanderthal club-sized penis out of a fear of massive blood loss. "When you've got a cannon like Edgar’s, the risk inherent with an invasive procedure is simply too dangerous," explains Dr. Emily Granverse of Institute of Phallumegaly. "I'm afraid Mr. Acuña’s will just have to stumble through life with what seems like, in many respects, a third femur." Edgar will have to wait for what might be a long, long, long time.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |