Dependasaurus Tee

A gossipy, loud mouthed, jobless woman who is a dependent of her unhappily married husband.  They often target unsuspecting military members to be their paycheck, I mean husband.  Once they have married them, they immediatly take credit for all things that their spouse has accomplished.  "We've been in the military for blank years..", "We'll be promoted next month", "We've been to Iraq twice."  They enjoy driving their minivans or company car around with their husband's position title on the windshield because they command the same respect that their husbands get.  You can find them congregrated at Pampered Chef parties, where they feed off the hostess, I mean food that the hostess prepares..  The Dependasaurus is much like a cackling hen, always sitting on their ever growing ass, talking about anyone and everyones business, while their husband stays late at work so he doesn't have to come home to another McDinner nite, cuz the wife he bought 5 years earlier has morphed into a waste of carbon who's let herself go, doesn't do anything but spend his money, neglect his kids, sit on her ass all day and uses the common excuse of not knowing how to cook to avoid making some kind of nutritious meal for the family.  Dependasauruses come in all shapes, colors, and sizes, the majority of them are large beasts, however a growing number of them are starting out smaller.  No matter how small they are before they get married, this is just a clever ploy to attract dumb shallow men, and Dependasauruses always quickly return to their natural form of unattractiveness and selfishness.  Key identification features of the Dependasaurus include:  gold necklace with their name in Arabic with a cotton t-shirts paired with jean shorts  a Coach purse and a blue tooth or cell phone attached to their ear, 5 starving children clothed in rags from Ross or any other thrift store trailing behind her, they have an inability of controlling the volume of their voice when talking about money or medical issues so that Us little people can hear them.  Dependasauruses usually travel in large packs, I mean clicks of other Dependasauruses.