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Confucius Tee

Confucius was a Chinese teacher and philosopher born 551 BC in Zou. His teachings are obviously influenced by a mixture of tea, heroin, sugar, cocaine, LSD, blueberries, apple juice, methamphetamine, prozac, zoloft, lots of ambien and a pinch of salt. He would normally make this mixture and ingest it about 15 minutes before meditating. When he would come out of his meditative state which usually lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 126 days he would then write down his sayings. He also made his own paper in a mill he had built in his back yard. He never wrote anything on Saturday or Monday, not for religious reasons but because his wife ran a part time restaurant out of his paper mill building on those two days preventing him from making paper. He wrote the recipes for the restaurant which included several savory cat and dog meat stir fry dishes along with a customer favorite desert made from vultures liver baked into a pie and served with a light glaze made of sugar mixed with warm stomach acid from a North American snailshank whipperfish. Confucius died in 479 BC and was buried in 1976.

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

GayagayMar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W.Mar 26

Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!

WilliamMar 19

Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡

💆🏻‍♀️琴Mar 8

The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂

Rhiannon K.Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.

Eric T.Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition

The person nobody knowsMar 5

BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!

student of PPMar 5

Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day

JaysonMar 4

good is it very. i like shirt much,,,,, it contabfortable like it i do.

hhfeqa v.Mar 4

The Fucklix t shirt is perfect but I am still waiting for the xlarge I ordered. These are gifts and will be just what is needed. Hope I receive the xlarge soon then it's time to give them to the people I ordered them for. So glad I saw them . Thanks.

Kathleen J.Feb 27
✓ Verified Purchase

My wife loves it. Nice quality and so funny for the wearer. Thank you!

Todd D.Feb 21
✓ Verified Purchase

The shirt fit amazing, package was shipped rather fast! Thank you so much..

Crystal D.Feb 19
✓ Verified Purchase

It is absolutely perfect and I love wearing it. Thank You.

Kathleen J.Feb 14
✓ Verified Purchase

Love the short mine says bih on it

Neal N.Feb 11

this shit stays on during sex

asas a.Feb 8

Love it! Buyed it for my sister but I had to make it say her favorite anime 💀✨

Milan G.Jan 20

LOVR THIS SHIRT OML SO CUTEEEEE😍😍😍

Angelina C.Jan 16

mine had gay on it. Instant sex.

bussy k.Jan 11

I love my NIckIsBum T-Shirt, it is very comfortable.

Ben R.Jan 10
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