Chav Tee

The disastrous result of bog weed mating with Jordan on a massive scale. They dress in a uniform of tracksuits and assorted pikey jewelrey found in the homes of elderly people and cattle sheds. The typical male chav is loud,weedy and barely coherant. He is also racist, homophobic, and anti-semitic, while simultaeously worshipping Ali G, a jew dressed up as a black man, and other people who live lives different to themselves. This is thecase for most chavs. Female chavs are jaundiced, ill educated, perpetualy inseminated and privy to the Croydon Facelift hairstyle, where the hair is pulled back so tight that their eyes are placed some 3 inches above their scalps, and Ugg boots worn with very short pleated skirts, revealing their flabby doughlike limbs. Female chavs are so devoid of taste that this style will be mantained if the girl in queston weighs 300 pounds and has an unhealthy 5 o'clock shadow surrounding her thighs. Chavs hunt in packs, picking on people superior to them in every way or form, explaining their maurauding pensioner-slapping antics with th words, 'i has a learnin' difficulty blud, innit'. These words will be accompanied by the pungent odour of a homemade stick of 'ganga' which is usually comprised of table salt and the remnants of last nights microwaved chicken tikka masala. Chavs live in their 'cribs' or Council Rented Iredeemably Basic Shacks. They are usually tastefully decorated with 1970's style brown wallpaper, and as many tv sets as they can afford. A 12 inch 'Plasma' tv is likely to be Johnny Chavs' most treasured possession, surpassed only by his 'maxed out' 1987 Nova in terms of 'mintness'. The typical chav listens to bland-as-shite RnB and rap, the male Chav looking up to whatever dumbass has got hold of a microphone this month, and the Chavette idolising the perpetual bint-in-mask-like-makeup on the front pages of Bebo. If you do see a chav, it is considered the kindest thing to end it's pathetic existence as quickly as possible, preferably with the sharp edge of the new Kanye record, or irony's sake.