Chav

Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc. The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others. The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black. Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Trash in The States which is actually a sub-culture of black America. They both inspire each other. The lower the common denominator they appeal to, the cooler they are! Both of these cultural factions are represented by the highly evolved people picked to appear on the “Jerry Springer” show. Due to the speed of the transmission of information in modern times ex. Internet, TV etc, cultures very quickly pick up bits from other cultures, bounce off each other, and this happens at such a rate that no-one exactly knows who originated what. But as society has evolved, and that is the key word, “evolved”, chavism did not happen overnight but evolved as culture dumbed-down and it became clear that it was not “cool” to aspire to anything other than basic animal appetites (for junk food, sex, cheap bling etc). Perhaps devolved is a better word! Jordan is the ultimate aspiration of female Chavs. She is actually much more stupid than the average Chavette which is why they (chavettes) admire her so much. She is actually now trying to pull herself out of the Chav-pit she has made for herself by writing a book about herself, no doubt mostly really ghost-written by someone else, paid for from the proceeds of all the modelling jobs she has done which evolve around her flubber-inflated chest (but isn’t she a great business woman- fuckin what?), and is trying to appear in “serious” programmes such as Book Award Ceremonies. Unfortunately, she is still seriously boring as she has neglected her mind in favour of her chest , hoping that the more silicone she has pumped into those tits, the more self-esteem and intelligenceshe will attain and therefore rather than work hard and learn, just go see the surgeon again. Easy!! Her tits have now become self-funding entities (get it?) in their own right. So my good friends, that is my input.