brigden

Last summer, my younger brother and I threw a kegger at our cottage. He invited some of his mates, and I invited mine. Good times were had by all. I spent most of the two nights drinking with his friends. One guy, in particular, caught my eye. Like most guys, I have a type. Physically speaking, he fit the bill. I don’t remember how we got started talking, but we got on famously. he’s twenty-three, I’m twenty-six. We could both feel the instant connection. There was mutual attraction. But… he had a boyfriend, and I have a boyfriend. Notice I say, “Had”? They broke up. Notice I said, “Have”? We’re still together. In love, in fact. For three years. Anyway, a few months later and this boy was still on my mind. I probably shouldn’t have, but I nicked him contact info from my bro and we started talking over Messenger. Infrequently at first. Once in a blue moon, really. Then, one weekend several months ago, he mentioned she was coming into town. I asked if she wanted to meet up at this bar my mates and I were going to be at. he came alone. We enjoyed ourselves. Talked more frequently over Messenger, and eventually went out for drinks several more times – just the two of us. Now we speak several times a week over Messenger and on the phone, but our conversations are what I would describe as the kind two people engage in when they’re beginning a romantic relationship. he tells me I’m “funny” and that I “make him laugh.” She explains that I “make him feel special.” Tells me I’m “not like most guys.” There is an inextricable connection between us. It is impossible to deny. he is exactly my type. Even more so than my boyfriend. And there’s the rub. My boyfriend. The man I’m deeply in love with, and have been for nearly three years. My companion. My lover. My best friend. I adore him, and would never cheat on hi . But, I’ve been unable to stop thinking about this other guy since we first met, nearly a year ago. Each time we get together it gets a little more intimate. I’m left even more wounded. This weekend I’m going to be going down to his place for a house party. I’ll be spending the night. I know I bring this upon myself, but I can’t help it. I feel drawn to this other guy. I should just cut all ties, but I can't. What the fvck am I going to do?